Tech-Support Highlights 3

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

Enterprise Support. High level Customer's Techs
-------
Customer: Our Server doesnt boot any more.
TechSupport: . o O (not an uncommon problem. mostly mainboard, PowerSupply, PowerDistribution Board or Power-Button defect) "Ok, do you see any LEDs on the Server ?
Customer: Yes, but they are all off
TechSupport: . o O (ok. most likely powerSupply or PowerDistribution Board) This server has 3 PowerSupplies. Are they ALL connected to the UPS ?
Customer: Oh, we dont have an UPS, but they are all connected to Wallpower
TechSupport: . o O (oh no. wait) "Are they connected to the SAME outlet ?"
Customer: "yes, with an multiple-plug"
TechSupport: *sighs* Alright, maybe is that one of those you can switch on and off ?
Customer: "oh. good idea. let me check that" *different noises of stuff beeing moved around*
Customer: "i cant see anything down here"
TechSupport: "well, then take an lamp ?"
Customer: *still moving around stuff under the table* "That wont help at the moment. we have an Company-wide Power Outage"
Techsupport: *mute* "AAAAAAARRRRRRRRR" *claws the desk* "why me ?" *demute* "ok.. i think we have detected the problem."

Comments

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Jesus. What do they think servers run on, magic juice?

And, plugging all three power supplies to a multi-plug plugged into ONE socket?! Puhlease. Well, how nice for them if the plug fries and takes out all their power supplies at once. At least they don't have to press the reset button on a power strip, which I'm sure would be their next brilliant investment in technology.

[infy.livejournal.com]

Wait, they don't run servers on glittery magic faerie juice?
Oh hell. Now I have to revamp what I'm telling my customers.

Hmmm...actually, no I won't. Because they're about as knowledgeable of current techology as the average ceramic lawn gnome.

But I hope we're not expecting intelligence or logic to come from these people.

[jon787.livejournal.com]

Oh come on, we all know they run on magic smoke (http://catb.org/~esr/jargon/html/M/magic-smoke.html)

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

yes :) and if there is SMOKE coming out of your system, you need to implement the nosmoke.dll to your config.sys

[jon787.livejournal.com]

or add the kernel boot parameter that specifies the size of your smoke capacitors so that the kernel stops overfilling them. This is documented in linux/Documentation/kernel-parameters.txt but it fails to tell you that you specific the capacity in hogsheads.

/me is a UNIX person

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

oh. ok. in that case try following.
Log on as root
download the avoid_smokeDueToOverheat.o
and copy it to the directory where your modules are
type: modprobe avoid_smokeDueToOverheat

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

Well, i ONLY give TRUE and Technically correct informations to the Customer.
like:
PEBKAC,

NHD (no hardware defect),

Install an Supported Operating System. No Mandrake 5.2 is NOT an OS for High-Performance-Cluster,

No we dont have Raid-Controller Driver for Not-Supported OSs,

No we wont send one of our Techs to check if the Power-Cables are connected to your system

Yes it IS possible that your Anti-Virus software causes Bluescreens. you dont believe me ? well, then why does the WinDBG Program write: "possibly caused by ino_fltr.sys" ? and why has the ino_fltr.sys caused an problem with the ntfs.sys that made ntfs.sys call the ExceptionHandler ?

No, the BSOD INNACCESSIBLE_BOOT_DEVICE is not an hardware error. Its POSSIBLE, yes, but in 99,8% of the time, this BSOD is only caused by wrong driver. yes, installing an Service-pack could cause that problem.

[compwizrd.livejournal.com]

what kind of twit buys a redundant power supply and then doesn't have a ups to protect that system?

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

well... ok. i have to admit that wasnt my FIRST thought :)
but my second.
its very easy. the redundent PSUs might have cost his WHOLE financial plan so he couldnt afford an UPS ? *g*

[jecook]

The same twit that plugs all three of them into the same 10A circuit, and then wonders why the breaker pops all the time...

I was recently tasked by the network engineer for my company to spec out space for re-doing the (laughingly called) data closet(1) for one of our offices. I specced out a dedicated 15A circuit, and a 1250VA ups, in order to run the following:

1 NEC phone system
1 PC (with monovga monitor) for provi9ding above with voicemail
1 Cisco PIX 515E firewall/VPN appliance
1 DSL modem
1 16 port switch

I think the max apmerage that entire setup will pull is something like 8.5A on start. It's a bit of overkill.

The entire quote ran to nrealy 10K, which included a re-cable of the entire office (using plenum cable!), and building a wall and putting a door in...


(1) the current gear is sitting on a shelf above the toilet in a bathroom. The bathroom used to be the network/server room for the last tenants of that ofice. I still crack a smile that that network shits itself.

[dysan27.livejournal.com]

The same twit that plugs all three of them into the same 10A circuit, and then wonders why the breaker pops all the time...

Worked at a place where the routers in several of the closets ened up being pluged into the same circuit, but it was OK as it was the Building UPS circuit, Right?

Then the power company sends a spike down the line that causes the tranformer on the UPS line to shit it's self, as in scorch marks ~8' up the wall, causing all the UPS lines in the building to fail.

Spend the morning running around re-connecting the downed routers. Spent the afternoon making sure all the other routers in the building were pluged into two diffrent circuits.

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

well... we have 16A circuits here @ 230V. but its still HARD at limit to support these servers

[mg4h.livejournal.com]

True quote from my days at Help Desk Hell:

"You mean the power has to be on so I can read my email?"

[klytus.livejournal.com]

I weep for the future of humanity.

Maybe we should just let the cockroaches take over sooner rather than later.

[lions-tambua.livejournal.com]

Yea. like 'unclekage' (http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=unclekage)
See at "Bio"