Funniest things customers have ever said.

[punkygoat.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'll start a trend here, because I'd sure love to read some posts about customers saying hilarious things not necessarily related to their stupidity, because nothing relieves the stress like a hardy laugh.

This is by far the funniest I've heard:
A customer calls and complains about the spam he recieves. He is a very calm, soft-spoken man of seemingly high intelligence and he already suspects there's probably nothing we can do about the problem. What was particularly troubling was the large number of sexually oritentated mail he gets and cites the example of penis enlargement mails. Now, the way he spoke, it seemed as though he didn't even like to use and particularly "lude" terms.
"And it's not really even the added implication that I don't have enough penis, god knows I'm Italian and they'll have to strap it down when I'm dead."
Then it was a race between my finger and my mouth. The finger won, hitting Mute before the donkey bray could be released, and I then commenced to pound the desk with my fists.

Now it's your turn

Comments

[chickenfart.livejournal.com]

My server is in CANADA? How big a igloo is it in?

[oddball42.livejournal.com]

Well, there was the minister's wife i talked to with teh password on her account that was
f$%kmehard

i thought that was pretty dang amuseing...

especially since she was calling for her password...

[oddball42.livejournal.com]

oh and i was the censor, hers was in all its glory...

quotes

[zimxim.livejournal.com]

i have a few.
"Help, I'm stuck in the Internet and I don't know how to get out."
"Is my password 'hoochiemama'?"
"..McCaffey Virus Sync.."
"I'd like to get hooked up with some diesel Internet."
"My monkey keeps jumping all over the screen!" (referring to the mouse, not Bonzai Buddy)
"I've been working here at the airport and playing with these computers quite often lately and I'm pretty sure this is a dial-up modem."
and my favorite..
"My TVs aren't flashing."

[miharu.livejournal.com]

I had a similar call the other day, it was a little old lady calling in to ask how our spam filters worked. I swear that this sweet old lady said 'penis' at least five times and then complained that she "didn't need no Viagra!" It's things like that which make me love this job.