Corporate Tech Support Gems

[rrrebo.livejournal.com]

So as not to threadjack others, I've decided to share some of my favorite common call scenarios. Now, I work for a huge corporation, and you would think that working with intelligent engineering-types would beat the hell out of working with the general public. For the most part, it does, but there are still some doozies out there.
Some of my gems include:

- Several of the "I'm at work, but my VPN won't work from my home, can you fix it?" calls
- Troubleshooting a VPN connection over Aircard wireless ISP while the client was talking on their cellphone on a moving train. "Yeah, we're about to go through a tun-"+++CARRIER LOST+++

C: "I'm calling because my boss's Blackberry isn't working."
Me: "Are they there?"
C: "No, he's in Korea."
Me: "What kind of trouble is he having?"
C: "I don't know! He just called me and told me to get it fixed."
Me: "---" (In my head, thinking "Tell that self-important, pompous fucktard to cancel his afternoon massage and call us directly!")

Tips for Blackberry users:
DO NOT CALL FOR TECH SUPPORT FROM THE BLACKBERRY PHONE!!! You cannot reboot the device while using the phone function.
DO NOT HAVE SOMEONE ELSE CALL FOR YOU! IT IS A SECURITY VIOLATION FOR THEM TO HAVE EITHER YOUR BLACKBERRY AND/OR YOUR PASSWORD!
Do not call if you don't have the device in your hand.
DO not call if you have zero bars of reception.
Do not call if you don't have both the docking cradle/cable AND the PC you normally sync with, unless you are using 4.0 Enterprise Activation, and even then, you should NEVER, EVER, NEVER GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT YOUR DAMNED CABLE!

Comments

[compwizrd.livejournal.com]

docking cradle? must be a weird blackberry.

i don't normally bother syncing mine, as the desktop software's pretty useless, and for the most part, if i lose everything on it, it's no big deal. i did buy a couple more cables for charging it though, as the batteries are only good for about two days max

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Some BlackBerries, like the 5790 (http://www.blackberry.com/products/handhelds/blackberry5790.shtml), have a "docking/charging cradle." We support all models of BlackBerry.

[compwizrd.livejournal.com]

Ah, I have the 7510 (http://www.blackberry.com/products/blackberry7500/blackberry7520.shtml), which is this 7520 without bluetooth.. could have used the bluetooth for when I get hearing aids.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Our users aren't allowed to use Bluetooth, even if they have the feature on their devices. :D

[compwizrd.livejournal.com]

yeah, I don't allow wireless here at the office either, I'll have to see what's available for hearing aid hookups, for the most part hearing aid manufacturers are ignoring the market for a good bluetooth connection to a phone, even though some hearing aids already have bluetooth built in for programming.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

That's the crazy thing... our users are allowed to do some wireless, just not that wireless. WTF. Who knows?

[rrrebo.livejournal.com]

We work in a corporate Exchange environment. Syncing is pretty important, and if you aren't on the Enterprise Wireless activation (100% wireless sync), then the Desktop Manager controls settings for everything.

At the very least, though, have the cable so you can repush the OS and apps if they get corrupted. Staring at the JVM error 507 screen can get boring reeeeeal quick-like.

[compwizrd.livejournal.com]

My 7510 is with Telus, so I don't need the BES to get internet on it like most others seem to, and I use .procmailrc to throw my work account at the blackberry, after some spam filtering.

I had to reload the firmware on mine once because the radio decided not to work.

One thing i dislike about having v4 of the blackberry os, is the fact the damn thing remembers what keys have been hit after it's been locked. Everytime i pull it out of the holster and put my password in, it's in some other random menu that I have to hold the back button down to get out of.

That, and I miss being able to edit address book entries, I have to delete them and add them in again.

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

"Tell that self-important, pompous fucktard to cancel his afternoon massage and call us directly!"

C'mon, be fair...he needs that massage thanks to the stress of having his blackberry broken.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

It's probably not even actually broken; he probably just dropped it in his martini.

[infy.livejournal.com]

Use #1031 for the Blackberry: Martini stirrer.

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

You mis-spelled "has no fscking clue how to use a blackberry".

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

You're right; I have a real problem with that. :)

heh

[solradia.livejournal.com]

I think you work for the same place I do.. I feel your pain!

Re: heh

[perkybitch.livejournal.com]

ditto. is it in the puget sound

Re: heh

[kayfox.livejournal.com]

Ah, that wonderful place of Orange...

Am I right?

Re: heh

[rrrebo.livejournal.com]

Nope, farther south.