A diversion from our usual curmudgeoning...

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

Here's a situation that is somewhat based on a recent real-life scenario I dealt with. We've all had it. This post is as much bitching about the situation as it is the game, so enjoy it.

You've got a family member/coworker/beer buddy that's got a computer problem. You, in the kindness of your heart (ok, maybe it was the helium hand, maybe it was the beer), volunteer to go onsite to fix their computer. You've got no idea what's wrong with it before you head in because, well, it's a clueless luser you're helping, and they have no idea. It just doesn't work right, and your job is that of superhero.

To make matters worse, the only things you get are:
One screwdriver
One Swiss Army Knife
One USB flash drive
Two floppy disks, one of which has drivers for that flash drive, the other is blank

It's safe to assume your buddy has Winblows in some variant that will allow you to load that drive (therefore it must be 98, ME, 2K, or XP).

Pick FIVE (5) programs available as freeware or trialware (that are fully functional) that you would absolutely want to have on that flash drive in this situation. Also any other system files/config files/etc. that you'd want. If there's a commercial product you like better, list it along with a freeware/trialware/open source app that does much of the same.

I went in with nothing (not even the items above) and do not relish the experience. My particular computer did not have working Internet, was running ME, and had more spyware crap than you could shake a stick at. I futzed in the Registry and took out as much as I could get and used the Dell system CD's as best I could to make it work, but those are damn near useless. Ended up reloading a system that had I the appropriate anti-spyware tools and a few useful system files could have survived its fate and got me out of there a lot faster, but well, dammit. Spent six hours on the thing that I could have used elsewhere in my life.

Please help me not repeat this. Lusers aren't worth it, but the people worshipping me is useful, especially when they actually can do useful services or give me cash for the trouble.

Comments

[taleya.livejournal.com]

ZA, and Sophos.

Personally I find out what they want to keep, shuffle that onto the USB key then tar and pave the bitch. Slap the firewall on there, the viral scanner set to auto-update, and start with the windows updates.

This is assuming they haven't lost all the driver disks, or gone and stuck them in bloody stupid places where they'll never be found...

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

I hate it when they don't have the disks... when I actually want to fix the problem.

On the phone, when that's an easy out, I'm praying they stuck them in the microwave...

There's only ONE tool I need in a situation like you describe...

[jjjiii]

fdisk.

Re: There's only ONE tool I need in a situation like you describe...

[jecook]

For misbehaving drives, I'd pull the data off of it (if possible), and give it a lead injection.

[katyism.livejournal.com]

Antivirus. Antispyware. (I won't list brands here, to avoid fights and whatnot, plus i have free non-expiring access to some major ones that most people don't...anyway.) A set of files that would go on a 9x boot disk (for the purpose of having Fdisk) if that counts as one item. If my flashdrive is big enough, a CD image of a windnows install disk. And an unzipping software. Uh... not sure what else, as I never go onsite and have never been in quite this situation.

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

Bootdisk.com. Win 98 SE OEM. Can't go wrong throwing that on there.

[photosinensis.livejournal.com]

Okay, here we go.

I would want Firefox (portable version), installer binaries for Spybot, AdAware, and a flash drive version of either Damn Small Linux or Puppy Linux with Clam Anti-Virus installed on it, as it has the tools for hardware diagnosis. Instead of the blank disk, I've got GRUB pre-loaded on it and ready to start up DSL/Puppy Linux.

Of course, I'm assuming a large jump drive.

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

Mine's 256. It was given to me, so I ain't bitching.

Been there, done that, wore the T-shirt out.

[jecook]

Considering that I do a modified version of this for my company opn a daily basis, I have a few additions:

Toss in two CDs: BartPE with Stinger and Ad-aware, with updates defs (Stinger is free.)
Bart's Corporate Multi-boot CD (BCD) for the heavy duty shit: Ghost, Partition Magic, Memtest, and a few other goodies.

On the Flash disk, Stinger and Ad-aware, along with AVG (free Anti virus) Spybot and ad-aware personal. (My work one has out site-licensed A/V software on it, and NO spyware. I run ad-aware off my bartPE disc for the anti-spyware scans, along with manually whacking the registry)

Keep in mind that the copy of Ghost is from a copy of Norton Systemworks Pro (or a pre-2003 version that had it standard), and partition magic is licensed. (I've yet to find any program that does what PQmagic does with such ease. It's worth adding to a field support monkey's toolkit)

Bart's Corporate Multi-boot CD:
http://www.nu2.nu/corpmodboot/

BartPE:
http://www.nu2.nu/pebuilder/
If the machine can run XP/2000, this is IMHO the best recovery CD out there, and it's Free. SOme of the tools that you might want to park on their are not, but you can do a lot of stuff with this puppy.


My "work" kit also has an IDE cable and an 80 GB drive for taking image snapshots of systems before I hand them over for the wonton abuse of the users. Very easy to fix the machine if they frag it.

Re: Been there, done that, wore the T-shirt out.

[jecook]

Granted, my work kit also consists of a laptop with a burner and dialup access for pulling drivers down, and my toolkit has a few other things, including hammers. ::snicker::

Re: Been there, done that, wore the T-shirt out.

[torkell]

Yep, Partition Magic is nice. Especially the one that runs from a pair of DOS boot disks - with a little effort and the utilities supplied with it you can add NetBIOS over TCP support, which beats Ghost's single-use TCP that needs a reboot after every use.

One thing I was working on at one point was a bootable CD that booted to DOS, and contained all the stuff needed to run PartitionMagic, DriveImage, fiddle with drives that need overlay software, and basically have a full install of DOS 7 (well, DOS 7 system files with the missing programs added from DOS 6.22).

[kallell.livejournal.com]

oatmeal raisin cookies

[guinevere33.livejournal.com]

My five must-have programs are Ad-Aware, SpyBot, Norton Systemworks, Zone Alarm, and AVG Antivirus. (I'd also recommend Hijack This and CoolWeb Shredder on the anti-spyware front.) On disk or CD, I'd have a Win98 boot disk, a bootable Linux CD in case the files are salvageable but the OS or harddrive isn't, and WinXP CD without SP2 since SP2 tends to choke on any remaining spyware. And I'd bring a small flashlight.

[japester.livejournal.com]

I've done that in the past, but I've always said, if it's going to take me longer than an hour, it goes in my car and back to my place. Where I have adsl and a bunch of other computers doing Stuff (Tm), where I can work on it at my leisure.
If they decline me taking it back, I give them the format c: /s option.
I've also been known to charge appropriately for the above. The thoughts which go through my mind .. "Oh you're stupid, so ... double my normal rates."
back on topic, the only CD i carry around with me now is the INSERT linux (http://www.inside-security.de/insert_en.html) CD. It will also go onto a USB memory stick.

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

If it's a big mess it's tar and pave time. Back up what you can and start over, nothing like a new house.