Okay, this happened on Monday, but...

[infy.livejournal.com]

This happened late Monday, right before I was about to go home. Another one of those lurvely calls that seem like you've already missed half the conversation starting out...


Clueless User: "...phone with the helpless desk...What's taking so...?"
Me: "Good afternoon, Xyzzy Service Desk, this is Infy, how may I help you?"
CU: [in a hyper-excited loud voice] "WHAT TOOK SO LONG?! I can't get rid of the webbing in Microsoft Word!"
Me: [puzzled - Webbing? WTF? Did Spiderman get stuck in her computer?] "We're experiencing extremely high call volume due to an application..."

And so the customer cuts me off.

CU: "Did you hear me?! I can't get rid of the webbing!"
Me: "Ma'am, are you referring to issues with creating an html/web-based document, or a hyperlink?"
CU: "NO! THE WEBBING! CAN YOU HELP ME OR NOT?!"
Me: [five minutes of blather continues while I try to retrieve her computername, while she clicks on everything but where I ask her to] "Okay, wait a moment while I connect to your PC."
CU: "Do you SEE it now?"
Me: "I'm still not sure what you're referring to."
CU: [huffily] "THAT." [and points to the little end-of-paragraph icon showing on her screen. She had five Word documents open with the same thing showing and it was pissing her off. I could hear her heavy breaths of aggravation.]

... Two seconds later, I turn off the option to show the formatting marks within Word off of the Standard toolbar, which she then grabs control back and rehides the toolbar, only to complain that it keeps turning back on when she closes out (isn't Word accessed through Citrix fun?), and then overhear her as she hangs up on me without even a thank you, "...Stupid helpless desk."

Comments

[krrayn.livejournal.com]

I don't know why, but your icon makes me giggle.

And let me tell you how many times I wished I could take direct control of a user's PC...

I feel your pain.

[jecook]

I'd love to recount the times I wished I could use a remote DMI (Detonate Machine Interface) on my lusers machines.... especially the ones who whine that it never works and when i roll up it either always works, or it ridden with spyware and the crap of the month that I have to nuke...

[infy.livejournal.com]

*grin* Me too, especially since I have this tendency to play with items on my desk while I talk to these people.

Slinkies. Darth Tater. Stress ball. My old Discovery Store penguin surfing on paraffin block. The stapler. Bad bad idea that last one. I keep having to remove staples from my fingertips. Owie.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Damn ME.

Anyone being that clueless at me would just get "Ma'am? You're making no sense," until they started saying something vaguely in touch with the real world.

[infy.livejournal.com]

Welcome to my world. Pardon me while I insert my head into my desk drawer and slam it shut a couple of times.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

It'd be more theraputic to do that to the callers, surely...

[infy.livejournal.com]

Of course it would, but I need the instant gratification of watching someone's brains spurt into the air like a fountain and splatter messily onto the desk* Today, unfortunately, this happens to be mine. Thankfully, I don't need a brain to speak to those who are already sorely lacking one.

[bekscilla.livejournal.com]

I swear, stupid people make me angry. Stupid *rude* people make me want to go postal (and I swear we need a new term for IT people going nuts)