Stern Stupidity

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

You've got to love assholes who are angry. Oh, apparently I don't know shit either.

Die stabby stabby!

Convo: *cut for language

"This is ***** I'm PJ and I can help you."

"Yeah, I haven't had any internet service for 3 days. This is unacceptable!"

"What type of lights do you see on your modem?"

"Well, I only see one."

"I show a Motorola on the account. It should have 4."

"No. I don't think you were listening. I have one light on my modem. It's green. It's a dell."

PEBKAC! You have to love stern stupidity.

"Ma'am that's your computer tower."

"Oh, wait...here's a box with 1 orange light on it. Is that it?"

"Yes that's the modem. Do you see a blue button on the top?"

"Yeah."

"Go ahead and push it for me. How many lights do you have on now? Four? Good. Try the internet."

"Ok, it's on." *click*

Not even a apology. What a bitch. I would go on a rant, but I'm all ranted out. Sorry. :D

Comments

[valkyrwench.livejournal.com]

I love it when they try to use the "I don't think you were listening", or, even better, "I don't think you understand". Either of those two lines guarantees that I will hang up on them at the soonest possible opportunity.

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

I almost did, she was cussing up a storm too. I almost hit that ever popular 'release' button.

[jecook]

A relative of mine used to work for a company that provided directory assistance (back when it used live operators instead of a IVR) She was instructed to give a verbal warning to the caller to stop cussing, and then if they contiued, she could hang up on them.

Too bad we don't have that for the hell desk. greedy bastards.

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

They say that we should give them at least one warning, but we have the power to end it whnever we feel like it.

[marahsk.livejournal.com]

When I worked tech support, we were allowed to hang up after three warnings for swearing or abuse.

[valkyrwench.livejournal.com]

I actually had a wrong number on my personal cell phone who took it a step further and said, "I don't think you understand English" when I told her that the person she was asking for didn't exist. I leave it to your imagination exactly what was said to her before I hung up :)

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

Heh. I like that answer. I would of had a few choice words too. I would of hung up on her too.

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

SOrry to be picky, but would HAVE not would OF, there is no OF of WOULD.

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

That's ok. I have no fight in me today. It's my "wednesday" and I just don't care. :)

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Ooh, ooh, pass it to me!

"Well, ma'am, that's an interesting THEORY of yours right there."

Straight from the collection of insults that don't sound like insults right away.

[c0c0c0.livejournal.com]

Got to love the standby light!

[normie.livejournal.com]

Hey cool, my ISP uses the same modems.

3 days and she didn't even try the button. Sure she might not know what a modem is, but she should figure the box the cable line plugs into must be the box that gives her internet and to try pressing buttons on it.

That and if the internet was down for 3 days, WHY'D SHE WAIT 3 DAYS TO CALL!? AGGHH!

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

That's what you would figure. If it's so critical, why wait 3 days...and call complaining. Were open 24/7. Call us if it's down. Were not going to yell at you because your standby light is on. Big deal.

[teriwyn.livejournal.com]

Three days is NOTHING.
When I worked for Comcast, I had folks who had this issue (modem powered off/standby) for literally weeks. (I think the longest "standby" issue I remembered was over 40 days.) They would get transferred to hell and back, escalated everywhere, before someone (usually me) would tell them to turn the stupid thing back on.

The RCA modems used to be particularly rotten about this. When the modem was powered off, the lights would remain normal EXCEPT the Power (later renamed "Internet" in models after about 2003) light would be off. An issue with the lights on RCA modems is that the lights were sometimes hard to tell if it was off or on, receiving a back-light from the lights next to it.

So, to everyone's credit, they thought the light was lit, because that's what the sub's would tell them.

The symptoms off a powered off modem of this model was really quite interesting. The modem would allow DHCP requests through... so the PC would get an IP address 100 out of 100 times. All other traffic was blocked.

Got an IP but can't surf? Why, that sounds like firewall/Winsock/borked browser!

I learned this nastiness early on and would ALWAYS make them hit that power button before I followed any of the other paths. Because spending two hours ripping and extracting winsock files, reinstalling communications, repairing the browser, and fighting with the sub over if they had a firewall or not before they decide to mention that maybe that power light looks a little dim is not the way to start a day.

[200iso.livejournal.com]

the best is when they ask demand credit for the downtime.

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

My response:

"How do you figure?"

[dukesnorre.livejournal.com]

Yeah, if nothing else, my years with windows have taught me that power cycling solves EVERYTHING, magically. :D

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

Power cycling is the best! I like it when people say "I've already done that." That's frustrating. I like it when I prove them wrong when I powercycle equipment with them.

"Why did it work with you?"

"Because I'm better than you, that's why..."

[mjkauffman.livejournal.com]

I'd love to tell them I'm better than they are. Ususally I go with "It's magic" or if I'm feeling very nice I say, "That's Murphy's Law of Tech Support. When you get someone on the phone, the problem goes away.'

[jjjiii]

You should have drove over and pushed the button for her. That's how they did customer service back in the '40's, when everything was good and people were decent. Internet service cost a penny for a month back then, too.

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

Internet service in the 40's huh? Wow, must of been beyond my years. Lol. Honestly, I don't think I would want to go over to my customers house. That would just be weird.

[jjjiii]

I like to imagine the customer's house as this delightful little suburban dungeon where disfunctional families beat on and scream at each other, and the laws of physics are mysteriously suspended until the presence of someone with IT expertise comes within 50 feet of the residence.

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

That sounds about right. I also picture my customers devoid of faces. Lol.

[jjjiii]

Kindof like the school kids in The Wall, yeah. And they all talk like Charlie Brown's teacher.

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

Waaa, waaaa, waaaa waa.