idiots

[celyste.livejournal.com]

I think the phone company hates 'us'. I'm almost certain that they've stuck little hypodermic needles into the phones so that when the customer dials 1-800-xxx-xxxx they get jabbed with a full does of 'stupid'.

Various responses that I received today in the first two hours of my shift when I asked the twits what kind of modem they had:

- why do you need that?

- does it matter?

- where would that be?

- I don't know. and I'm not driving home to find out right now!

- hewlett-packard

- well... the one that came when I bought my printer. (?!?!?!)

- one of yours.


not one single person knew. the next two hours were spent taking people through winver cause they didn't know what operating system they had. (how do people not know these things?) [by the way... what's the equivalent to winver for mac, anyone? we don't officially support mac, but it would have helped today]

people on the forums are always complaining that we just keep taking them through powercycles when they call in... if they had to listen to the stupid that we do all day, they really wouldn't question it. It's disturbing how many times we hear 'I just recycled my modem! I am not doing that again!' (still don't know what recycling company takes them, but anyway) and still we see modem up time of 27 days. Grr.

Comments

[celyste.livejournal.com]

*cries* our reset-er was down!

[gaymafiakingpin.livejournal.com]

On a Mac you can click on the Apple Menu, then click on About This Mac or About This Computer (depending on the version). A window will pop up saying "Mac OS [something-or-another]" in it. The problem with getting to this menu is that the customer has to have the Finder active, not some other window. If another program or window is open it wll say About [that program].

[celyste.livejournal.com]

ok... so like the my computer >right click to properties bit.

[tmercenary.livejournal.com]

Anytime user asks a "WHY?" question, I give them the blanket answer, "Because if you don't do what I tell you, and give me the information I need from you, I can't fix your problem for you."

[prozacnation.livejournal.com]

I love that tool...especially when lusers piss me off.

[jecook]

Pretty much.

Useful Link:

http://www.uncg.edu/irc/docs/general/whatOS/#macVer

OSX will display somthing similar.

[raina.livejournal.com]

Go dave!

[mjkauffman.livejournal.com]

I have never yet encountered a customer who knows what kind of modem they have. I therefore don't ususally even bother asking them, just take them into the control panel to find out what's installed. I can't even ask if it's an internal or external modem 90% of the time. They have no idea.

[celyste.livejournal.com]

we only use external cable modems. 90% of the sub base rents their modem from us. We still have to ask though so we can verify that our files are correct.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Anyone else ever tried the old "I'll need to [make some changes/updates]/[refresh your account] with the PC/modem turned off, so you can pick up the correct settings on reboot" line?

Only ever used on utterly recalcitrant callers who otherwise refuse to reboot. Extra points for stringing them along for a minute or so with "one moment... hang on... getting there..." + typing noises in Notepad while their equipment is turned off. After all, the more typing they hear, the more they must have needed that reboot, right?

Gah. Sometimes this job is all psychology.

[celyste.livejournal.com]

*L* yep!

ok... I just need to run a fast test on the lines and I can't have any draw on it while I do that...

then I usually go into the 'oh, this is such a slow program.... these results are really taking a while, there must have been some noise that needed clearing from the lines... *L*

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

"...one moment please" *place on hold for five minutes*

"...OK! That's looking much better! Switch on the [device] and let's see what we've got now."

Geez, doesn't it sound like talking to a three-year-old?

[celyste.livejournal.com]

no actually... worked with a 4 year old the once... fastest call ever. Damn but that kid was good! *LOL*