Luser fun

[taii.livejournal.com]

lovely call there from a new user....

Me: Helpdesk, Iain speaking.
Her: Hi, I'm a new user and I don't know if I have accounts on various systems yet. Who do I speak to?
Me: Normally your BTC (Business Technology Co-ordinator) will be the one responsible for setting you up on acounts. Do you know who that is?
Her: I don't have his number.
Me: I would advise you spoke to your manager then, as they will be able to advise you on that, as we are not allowed to give out names or numbers. [if we did, these people would get bombarded with calls from lusers]
Her: I have a GID, can you tell from that?
Me: The GID is used as a standard usernaming convention on a large number of unrelated systems. We could not tell easily from that.
Her: Well, do I have account on a system called iRFE?
Me: I'm sorry, that is a system that is dealt with by a separate helpdesk and I am unable to advise.
Her: Well, who do I speak to to see if it's been requested.
Me: As I said, the best person to speak to would be your BTC, or your manager to get their name and number, as we cannot advise if accounts have been requested [we have no part in the system]
Her: Fine. Thanks. Bye.
* I wait for her to hang up *
Her: What a waste of time. Fucking idiot. [obviously thinking she has hung-up]
Me: Thank you! *release*


If I'd taken her ID, I could have reported her... d'oh!

x-posted to my journal for no reason at all...

Comments

[poprockgrrl.livejournal.com]

I hate lusers like that!

[swwinchester.livejournal.com]

First thing you get : ID. ALWAYS get ID. You never know when the Luser is going to be reportable / fireable / a cantidate for BOFHing.

C'mon, that's the FIRST rule of being a BOFH - get user ID, so you know who you're targeting for wasting your time.

[klytus.livejournal.com]

As per our contracts, an ID# is the very first thing we ask for when a luser calls in. No ID#, or if the ID# is invalid, no service. That saves us a lot of time.

[grayhawkfh.livejournal.com]

And this very policy has allowed me to introduce some fools to the wonder of my good friend, Mr. Dial Tone...

[taii.livejournal.com]

I know, I know, I know... rookie mistake...
Unfortunately, the people I support are the ones that are too impatient to even wait for me to finish my greeting (and you can see how short it is above) so I often don't get a chance to ask for their ID until I've figured out what they're talking about...

[mg4h.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry, I can't talk to you until I have your ID."

Try saying it enough times, it will come out with authority.

Good luck with the ijidts.

[taii.livejournal.com]

I actually had a woman go ballistic at me when I kept asking for her ID while she was trying to rattle through her issue.
I did tell her in the end, it was in case the phone got disconnected, I'd be able to call her back [not that I would have...]

ijidt? is that meant to be eejit? (or however we spell the word...)
ie, Scottish? [I love how so many Scottish slang words just defy spelling conventions :) ]

[mg4h.livejournal.com]

It's another mangling of idiot, with a typo on my part. Should be ijdits. "Oops" ;)

[taii.livejournal.com]

ah, just looked close to a word I would actually say. (Could still well be...)