Starfish On The Loose

[fragbert.livejournal.com]

User: "I'm getting errors when I try to [perform proprietary function with software].

Me: "What errors are you receiving?"

*pause*

User: "Six of them."

Me: *sigh* "What do they say?"

User: "I don't know. Do you have to know what they say in order to fix my problem?"

Me: "This isn't Miss Cleo's Psychic Help Desk."

(Okay, so the last line was only in my brain.)

Comments

[taii.livejournal.com]

or how about:

Us: Are you receiving any errors?
Them: Yes.
Us: And the message is?

(which is often linked to this one)

Us: Can you tell me the exact error message you're receiving?
Them: An error has occured, blah blah blah

Somehow, I doubt it says 'blah blah blah'...

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

My favorite error message is "It doesn't like it."
"The computer has a box up that says 'I don't like this'?"
"Yes."

A colleague of mine yesterday had a client who was insisting his error message was "Denver, Colorado."

[oh-kevin.livejournal.com]

my favorite is...

Me: Ok can you open the software again and read me what the error message says?

Idiot: I'm not at the the computer, do i need to be?

ME: ...

[jcaswell.livejournal.com]

I have this daily...

"Miss, I can't log on!"
"OK, what happens?"
"I get an error message"
"What does it say?"
"I don't know. What's wrong?!"
"Go away, and write down the exact message you're getting, then come back"
"Can't you fix it?"
"Not without knowing what the error message is"
"But I don't know what the error is"
"Which is why I told you to go and write it down"
"Oh"

And nine times out of ten they don't come back :)