Lot of liars

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Boy, there sure are a lot of liars out there today. I just had to go take a walk. I'm not technically allowed off the phones, but I left anyway. I'm tired.

Several calls in a row would go like this:

ME: So when you double-click on your McAfee icon, nothing happens? You don't get an on-access scan window, or an error, or a gray box, or anything?
HER: No. Nothing.
ME: (connects to her computer, double-clicks on McAfee icon) So you didn't get this gray box saying on-access scan?
HER: Well, yes, I got THAT, but nothing happened.

ME: So you have nothing in your system tray, no little icons to the left of your date and time?
HIM: No.
ME: Nothing at all there?
HIM: Nope! (tone of triumph, as he's just proven there is something wrong with his computer)
ME: (sigh, remotes into his computer, points mouse at system tray icons) Do you see these little icons?
HIM: Yes.
ME: These little icons to the left of the date and time?
HIM: Yes.
ME: Those were the icons to which I was referring when I asked if there were any little icons to the left of the date and time.
HIM: Oh.

Call after call. Client bald-faced lies to me, and I know it, and I connect to their computer, and prove it, and show them what to do. So. Boring.

x-posted to my journal and customers_suck

Comments

[canthlian.livejournal.com]

ME: So when you double-click on your McAfee icon, nothing happens? You don't get an on-access scan window, or an error, or a gray box, or anything?
HER: No. Nothing.
ME: (connects to her computer, double-clicks on McAfee icon) So you didn't get this gray box saying on-access scan?
HER: Well, yes, I got THAT, but nothing happened.

The mind boggles. How do these people survive?

[kalidor.livejournal.com]

I feel for ya. It's even worse when it's vendors .. although I guess that is expected.

But man.

I just got off a teleconferance with Avaya 3rd level tech, and the guys who configured our switch. Due to policy issues I am not allowed to directly access the network configuration of either yadda yadda yadda...

anyway .. So the bloody devices won't talk, and after three months of trying to get one of them to fix it, I finally got a teleconferance worked out. They keep erroring out. Work fine on on with other devices just not each other. I've been sure its a config issue from day 1, but both parties kept saying that the sopecifications we gave them are confirmed on the devices and they certified their correctness.

After 2 hours of griping bithcing and whining ... we found the issue. Avaya didn't set their port to 100/full locked like we told them to and was written in the scope of work. They set it autonegotiate.

What part of certified the config with the scope of work document do they not friggin get?!?

[jecook]

"Oh, but autonegotiate works fine almost all the time!"

That's a likely excuse you'll probably hear.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

I get that a lot--"Yes, I read the setup instructions, and I did everything in them, and your stupid web course doesn't work!" (I remote in, change screen resolution from 800 x 600 to 1024 x 768.) "OH MY GOD, it WORKS! I know it said to change my screen resolution in the setup instructions, but I didn't think THAT would matter!"

[kalidor.livejournal.com]

After this is done, I am transfering it to legal. In my opinion this is breach of contract. They said they set it up a specific way, and they didn't.

[kalidor.livejournal.com]

... not that that means that much. Small company ... Avaya ... not gonna happen. But if it keeps other offices from buying avaya products cause of previous breach of contract notices ...

so be it

[jecook]

True, but you might get possibly a credit on your bill of something.. That is, tif they've been charging you for the moths that it's not been working...

[kalidor.livejournal.com]

meh, its more of Pay us $130,000 well sell, install and support your pbx for you for one year.

Technically we are still within the free 1 year support. But .. 3 months of arguing ... pisses me off.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

There are easier and more effective ways to take revenge.

"I found the problem."

"What?"

"The problem is that you did not set up the system the way you were told to."

"Yes I did!"

"I am looking at the steps you missed RIGHT NOW."

"Which ones are they?"

"Steps 1 through 857. In that order only. There is a reason those steps are in there. They're not just included for fun. They're included because it's the only way to make the system work properly. If you miss one - and I can see you did - you get the problems you are currently experiencing."

"Why aren't you helping me?"

"I've already given you the solution. Twice, in fact, since you've had the solution in your setup instructions since Day 1. Of course, if you would like someone from here to set it up for you..."

"Yes! Do that!"

"...that will cost you an extra $5,000 as specified in the contract you signed."

"But you're supposed to give me support!"

"That's why we gave you the instructions in the first place, and why I'm telling you now to go and do it right this time."

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Ah, if only that could work at my company. I'm getting warm fuzzies just thinking about it.

[residentgeek.livejournal.com]

At least you can remote in. I have to walk clear across campus for stupidity like that :o)

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Well, I can only remote in with about half of our 130,000 users. The rest, I can't even reach physically because they're all over the world.

[residentgeek.livejournal.com]

I only have about 160 machines to worry about in my section. And it's just as easy to go over and do it for them as it would probably be to remote in. Remoting in would just really freak them out. Plus I can use the brief exercise.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Given that scenario, I would probably do that too. :)

[residentgeek.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can't really imagine being responsible for 130,000 users. I think I'd be bald and have a nervous tic at that point :o)

BTW - Jodie Foster and Contact? Rocks.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty much there on the nervous tic and everything. I've been answering phones here for three and a half years, kowtowing to people right and left, and I've pretty much totally had it. I am .75 inches away from throwing myself off a cliff. Except there are no cliffs in Florida. I can't catch ONE break.

Yep, I love Contact and I love Jodie. I've been told I look like her and though I don't necessarily see it, I consider it a great compliment. ;)

[kalidor.livejournal.com]

Ya know what always freaked my dad out. Having a horshoe crab thrown at him ... you have many of those ... toss them at bad phone callers :)

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

I actually like horseshoe crabs, though. I would feel quite bad for the crab, being lobbed at the head of a creature with maybe one-fifth of its IQ. Maybe I could get a salt shaker full of fleas and use those.

[kalidor.livejournal.com]

If only they made choip device .... Choke over IP

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

Haha! Too funny. Choip sounds good.

[kalidor.livejournal.com]

btw I love the icons and name :D

[residentgeek.livejournal.com]

Thanks :o)

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

As someone else said, at least you can remote in.

That tone of triumph? Yeah.. Makes me go all stabby.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

And as I said, I can only remote in to about half of our 130,000 users. The rest of them are remote, in various places in the world, may or may not speak any English at all... ;D

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

Omg only about half? We can't remote in to any, over 250,000 users.

At least you can remote in.

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

You're right, I have no right to complain about my job and will summarily shut up.

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

I'm not saying you don't have the right to complain. Everything is relative. Take comfort in the fact that you can remote in. Just feel for us, those that can't ;)

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Having worked several jobs where I could not remote in, I have to say that those calls have their points as well. At least I can try to convince myself that maybe they aren't lying.

I was using the remoting-in to illustrate how frustrating it is that people lie, not how frustrating it is to fix particular issues.

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

I was using the remoting-in to illustrate how frustrating it is that people lie, not how frustrating it is to fix particular issues.

Well, duh.

I hate it when people lie to me. It is just so pointless and counter-productive. Like going to the Doctor for a leg injury and telling him your eye hurts. WHY?!?!

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Doctors have an advantage, though - they know EXACTLY where to lodge a spork in someone's larynx to shut them up.

Plus, they can threaten to remove the afflicted body part altogether. The only way we could do that is by guillotine-over-IP.

Still, there's always the old favorite - "I don't have a fix for the precise (and wildly inaccurate) symptoms you're describing. You'll have to have the computer replaced."