Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken
Mar. 12th, 2003 06:38 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
liquidmercurial.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
techrecoveryBasic rundown of the technical support rep...
Snippets taken from SixSixFive.com
You, for one, are inevitably going to say and/or do something profoundly retarded, and the guy on the other end of the line will hate you for it. See, there are, broadly speaking, three kinds of techies that do phone support. I'm not going to tell you what they are though, because two of them are actually okay to talk to, and I don't want to get your hopes up. You wll most likely wind up talking to the most common one; a complete prick who hates you because he was doing something more important when you just had to go ahead and call with your stupid fucking question....
...but there is a large chunk of the population that sits in front of the keyboard and suddenly their basic thought processes go out the window. I have, in the past, talked to adults who honestly did not know left from right. Well, that is what will be expected of you during this conversation...
...So if I had any advice for you, it would be this: If you need to call phone support, explain your problem briefly and as clearly as you can. Describe what symptoms you have seen. Offer no speculation as to what this might be, don't cop an attitude, don't do anything other than communicate your problem as best you can. It's best to avoid tossing in any buzzwords you might know. It will piss the techie off almost as much as asking whether his mother spits or swallows. He, of course, will throw piles of jargon at you; do not follow suit....
...Like I said at the outset - everyone in this equation is a miserable asshole. The best metaphor for calling phone support is two people drinking each other's piss, wherein one person is doing it because of some possible health benefit, and the other is doing it because
A. He's getting paid to, and
B. He at least gets to piss in someone else's mouth while he's doing it.
Snippets taken from SixSixFive.com
You, for one, are inevitably going to say and/or do something profoundly retarded, and the guy on the other end of the line will hate you for it. See, there are, broadly speaking, three kinds of techies that do phone support. I'm not going to tell you what they are though, because two of them are actually okay to talk to, and I don't want to get your hopes up. You wll most likely wind up talking to the most common one; a complete prick who hates you because he was doing something more important when you just had to go ahead and call with your stupid fucking question....
...but there is a large chunk of the population that sits in front of the keyboard and suddenly their basic thought processes go out the window. I have, in the past, talked to adults who honestly did not know left from right. Well, that is what will be expected of you during this conversation...
...So if I had any advice for you, it would be this: If you need to call phone support, explain your problem briefly and as clearly as you can. Describe what symptoms you have seen. Offer no speculation as to what this might be, don't cop an attitude, don't do anything other than communicate your problem as best you can. It's best to avoid tossing in any buzzwords you might know. It will piss the techie off almost as much as asking whether his mother spits or swallows. He, of course, will throw piles of jargon at you; do not follow suit....
...Like I said at the outset - everyone in this equation is a miserable asshole. The best metaphor for calling phone support is two people drinking each other's piss, wherein one person is doing it because of some possible health benefit, and the other is doing it because
A. He's getting paid to, and
B. He at least gets to piss in someone else's mouth while he's doing it.
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Date: 2003-03-13 09:08 am (UTC)*shrug* But then maybe I'm just a bitter, angry bastard.
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Date: 2003-03-13 04:17 pm (UTC)I was amused by half of it...the rest was slightly grating. Yes, grating, not degrading, because I could relate to a lot of it. I was just amused overall.