(no subject)

[liakela.livejournal.com]

So I had a client on the phone whose laptop was obviously about to shit the bed. Just to get it to boot up he would have to remove the battery, do a power drain, dance around it nude and shake a bone-rattle.

Before he told me all of this, though.. he said that he "had to go through a song and dance to get the laptop to turn on."

Meaning to ask for more information, I said, "And how do you normally get it up?"

There was a pause as I realized what I'd just said, and we both half-chuckled uncomfortably, and I moved on.

Have any of you any quips to share that match or surpass?

Comments

[nyquilusa.livejournal.com]

Nice.

I overheard a coworker saying something to a customer that, taken out of context, sounds pretty dirty: "I can turn you on, right now, if you give me your credit card number."

Then there's another coworker, chatting with a customer and fellow cat lover, who said, "Cats are like potato chips. You can't have just one."

[klytus.livejournal.com]

At our help desk, when we are in call-back mode, we call it being in the box. When we pull a case, its called pulling a case from the box. I always note in my worklog when I pull a case from the box. With that background in mind... there was one time when I was a new employee, and *almost* put in my worklog, "Pulled case from her box"

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

When I was a hostess at a restaurant in college, one of the waitresses came tearing around the corner with her eyes like this: O.O

ME: Joanna, what happened?
JOANNA: Those guys you just seated, they wanted beer, so I brought it, and one of the glasses had a lot of foam on it and the other didn't.
ME: OK...
JOANNA: (another deep breath) So the guy whose beer didn't have any foam on it said he hadn't gotten any head and I said, "Oh, I'll give you head if you want it, sir."
ME: O.O

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

One time I was troubleshooting a device which had been knocked over by the customer's pet.

When asked if any damage would be covered under warranty I quipped "I'm sorry sir, but your warranty does not cover acts of dog".