techrecovery | Ugh... today is going so slow...

... and I'm on a freakin' RELAY CALL with someone who can't type worth a damn to the relay operator. I swear they like missing every other word. I'm fairly certain that the relay operator got pissed off at the customer, because suddenly halfway through the call it switched to another operator talking to me.

So I'm currently at 26 minutes for a call that normally takes 4.

God I hate relay calls. Well... not entirely true. I hate relay calls where the customer keeps trying to frickin' argue with me. Look. The modem is fucking registered. No, stop repeating the damn mac address that you have wrong anyway. You're reading the usb mac id or some shit. Hell, I have no idea. Alls I know is that about 4 minutes into the call, I had your ip address, and did everything already. All I need is for you to REBOOT YOUR FREAKIN' COMPUTER! THAT'S ALL I ASK! NO! DON'T GIVE ME THE GODDAMN WRONG MAC ADDRESS AGAIN!

*shudder* They're right now rebooting. I hope to god they don't have a router, or it has a corrupt temp. internet file.

Oh look... they have a router. Fun fun. And look... they're completely ignoring my request to hook the modem directly to the computer, and repeating asking me if they should click on start.

Yes, fine... I can ping the modem and router and it works, so let's see if you can ping out to anything. I don't know what the fuck instruction of mine you ignored earlier, but a buck says it was 'restart the computer', the ONLY FUCKING THING I NEEDED YOU TO DO TO FINISH EVERYTHING AND GET EVERYTHING WORKING!!! But alas... because you must be illiterate given the way you're typing, you must not be able to read what the relay guy is typing back to you. Not a single word of it. Or choose to ignore it entirely.

Call currently at 36 minutes, and they just managed to screw up typing 'ping www.red.com'

Aaaand now sitting at 45 minutes... and successfully got them to ping. Surprise, it works. So, since they didn't reboot their computer assumingly, let's just clear the temp. internet files and cookies and cross my fingers.

56 minutes now... confirmed suspicions with other techs. We need to get rid of the router for now. It's the 100% only thing that can cause this.

Oh look... they ignored me again and are TALKING ABOUT THE MOTHERFUCKING START BUTTON AGAIN! STAY AWAY FROM THE START BUTTON!!!

Exactly one hour... we're getting close to the conclusion here. I got rid of the router... and we're powercycling the hell out of everything.

... and they're asking what to do after we reboot. Oh, I dunno... the exact same thing we've done after rebooting (supposidly) the other 4 times? SEE IF THE PROBLEM IS GONE! C'mon... it's 65 minutes in... let's see if it can be finished in under 70. Wheee... over an hour on a call that should take under 5 minutes.

... 2 minutes later after asking them to open IE, and they haven't responded. God, I hope a tornado took their house and I can just sit here and picture it in my mind. 69 minutes... come on... can't take that long to double-click something. The last thing they said to the relay guy that relayed to me: "One second. Still working internet explorer. Wait. Blue Download." YES! That makes PERFECT sense. People download "blue" all the time.

And the first relay operator is back. I guess they had to go on break. Or guy 2 got pissed off. I don't know. Damn... 72 minutes right now. And they're still getting the registration page. Ok, fuck this. I'm saying we've gotta send a tech out. They'll make the cust pay 50 bucks to reboot the computer here.

And they turned it down. Good. I don't care. Wanna troubleshoot on your own? Wish you woulda said that an hour and 10 minutes ago. Yep, the problem is entirely on your computer. I really don't care if you fix it or not. In fact, I hope you don't, purely so that you suffer for the misery you put me through. God... 85 minutes. I hate people sometimes.