Ready to kill

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

There is one first-level guy I've completely had it with. Every time he calls second level, the conversation goes like this:

Him: "The customer is experiencing (blah) and I don't know what to do."
Me: "Sounds like (A) so do (B)."
Him: "I think it's (X)."
Me: "Nah, if it was (X), you'd be seeing (Y)."
Him: "But what about (SOMETHING COMPLETELY UNRELATED)?"
Me: "Doesn't apply. Do (B)."
Him: "I still think it's (X)."
Me: "If it was (X), then there'd be (Y), okay?"
Him: "I still think it's (X)."
Me: (sigh) "Fine, troubleshoot (X)."
Him: "But what if it's not?"

AAAAAAAARGH

And he's actually close enough for me to reach out and slap him. Must... control... fist of death...

Comments

[abstrak-tokatl.livejournal.com]

woulnd't it be just so much fun if it was all just turned in to a bondage facility

[harry-whodunnit.livejournal.com]

Depends on whether I'm top or bottom.

[abstrak-tokatl.livejournal.com]

uhm... it's a bondage facility.... meaning based on the calls we are all on bottom

[tmercenary.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much how the transfer calls from our India desk come to me too.

[zercool.livejournal.com]

*sigh*

I worked with that guy. One just like him, anyways. I finally blew up at him. He never questioned my diagnoses again.

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

Here's the trouble - I'd almost gamble he heard the conversation from the same POV that you did. This is what happens when two technicians believe they have to be right, even one asking for help. Believe me, I've had cases of questions go up and shit comes back down.

When I train newbies on our desk, I have a handful size slab of quartz. I explain to techs that I learned this field by the school of hard knocks, that I base my knowledge and style off field experience. The rock, I explain, is the "school of hard rocks". Why? Because Some. People. Can't. Learn. Any. Other. Way. (while pantomiming using rock on head) Don't make me use the rock on you :).

My trainees come out excellent or run scared. Those that run have done us a favor even if we paid their sorry butts for training ;).

[liakela.livejournal.com]

I'm -so- using that for my training classes.

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

Much obliged :)

[teriwyn.livejournal.com]

I used to work an internal desk for reps, as well. I had that conversation a number of times. I understand just how frustrating it is. There were some people that we would ALL dread when they would call, because getting anything through their skull was not going to happen without some sharp power-tool.

The part that really gets me is that even when presented with incredibly sound logic, such as, "If it were (X), then (Y) would also be present," doesn't get you anywhere. If you're so damn sure it's (X), why don't you troubleshoot for (X) before you waste my time? Then you'll see it's NOT (X) and might actually listen to me when I tell you it's (A). GEEZE!

[geekgrrl-ca.livejournal.com]

Hit him. Do it for me.

[sigurther.livejournal.com]

Hah, yeah, smack him and get it over with.

[klytus.livejournal.com]

Him: "I still think it's (X)."
Me: (sigh) "Fine, troubleshoot (X)."
Him: "But what if it's not?"

Ok... it's that last line that sent me over the top. If he's going to be such a moldy foreskin as to argue with you about what to troubleshoot, he does NOT get to argue with you when you tell him to follow the proceedure he has been arguing with you that he wants to follow.

IDIOT

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Yup.

"This is the stage at which I tell you to shut the hell up and do your job before calling me. I am also recording this conversation and will be speaking with your supervisor about your lack of training."

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Or even just "Do (B). Goodbye." (repeat until caller hangs up)