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techrecoveryOkay, so I work at a Call Center, and today's been a relatively quiet & smooth chain of events as helpdesk calls go...
It's 5:53pm, everyone who has a normal shift is either dreaming about going to Happy Hour with their briefcase in hand and logging off their PCs, or already out the damned door and sitting in traffic. The phone rings. No zip tones here, thank god.
Two rings later, after I fumble with this darned headset, I pick up the line and immediately get:
Her: "I work for Mr. Big Cheese*, and I'm working on this file and now I can't get into it, what can I do I need it right this minute what can I do?" *in a highpitched rambling voice*
Me: "Limburger* Service Desk, this is Kevin...how may I help you?"
Her: "....didn't you hear a word I said? I work for Mr. BIG CHEESE. I need your help right this minute. I'm stupid when it comes to computers, and I work for Mr. Big Cheese." (yes, she actually repeated it...like I *care*.)
Me: (err...okay, all righty then...) "What seems to be the problem, miss...Lard*?"
She goes on to relate that she's working on a large EXTREMELY IMPORTANT Excel spreadsheet, that she's been updating all day long. Yesyes, she's actually saved multiple times, or so she claims. Her PC froze up while doing 25 subtotals, she rebooted her PC but can't get into the file - the file's on a server, how quick can we restore it? She needs it RIGHT THIS MOMENT.
Okaaay. When do I tell her that file restores take generally take 3-5 business days, and that a crashed, corrupt file is not retrievable for file restores on THE SAME DAY? [This was before we instituted real-time file restores on the NAS servers...]
Not like I get a chance.
Me: "Ms. Lard, where is the file located? Which server?"
Her: "It's on the domain. Can you get it or not?"
Me: "Ma'am, depending on your location and job title, it could be any of 15 different domains, and there's many, many servers under each of those." (no lie. Yikes.)
Her: "Does it matter?" *snort* "I need this NOW."
Oif. After 15 minutes, I'm ready to reach through the phone and strangle the dumb admin assistant. I eventually have to give her the basic rundown for how servers work, where to look, how to find the damned Start button, etc. The basic minutiae that we all take for granted, wasn't taken for granted here. Ouch.
Me: "Okay, now that we have the server name and location of the document, " (a full 11 subdirectories drilled down...which I don't have access to because of the area it's in) "...what were you..."
Her, breaking in: "Well, can you see it, can you open it, canyouretrieveitforme?"
So I go to tell her that I don't have access to such certain directories, and she's NOT HAPPY, fuming in fact. So after she tells me how when she tries to open it now it just clocks and clocks and hangs her PC, I further twist the spike of luserhood into her gut.
Me: "Well, since I don't have access, I will need to submit this to server support in order to restore the file. Please understand any work created today will not be saved, due to..."
Her: "WHAT?!?! I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS ALL FU@KING DAY! WHAT THE F@CK DO YOU MEAN IT'S GONE? ARE YOU F@CKING SH!TT!NG ME? WHAT A BUNCH OF BULLSH!T. I CAN'T F@CKING BELIEVE THAT. YOU'VE GOTTA BE FULL OF SH!T..." (and on and on and...*hello mr. mute button, how are you?* Let her get it out of her system...rantrantrant...I'm seriously considering revamping my "if they're not cursing AT me, it's no big deal" policy, boy am I hungry...this is actually pretty funny...)
Me: *mute off* "Ma'am, if you continue swearing like that, I will be forced to disconnect."
Her: "WHAT THE F@CK...Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm close to tears here."
Me: No, you're not, you're snorfling your runny nosed snot back into your nose IN MY EAR, which is almost worse than people chewing chips and slurpcrunching like absolute pigs. "...And, because this is a Friday night, the chances of getting a file restored tonight are quite slim, sorry..."
There she goes again. Boy, that girl's got a mouth on her. I suspect that there's no one around her because they can probably hear her in Detroit. Holy obnoxious aggravated admins, Batman.
She's now crying between nasty comments and I know I should hang up on her and really piss her off, but this is the most fun I've had all night. So far, the company's a pile of crap, the server is a piece of crap, the rules and regulations are below pig vomit, Ms. Lard is on the warpath, and I'm secretly chortling on mute.
You know, it'd be one thing if she had started off polite, but no...
From there, I interject with, "Ma'am, in the future, you may find it to be a good practice to save your work on the hard drive also before attempting large calculations on a server-based document, especially one in which you've never saved a copy of, otherwise. You may wish to save a copy in another location on the server, also..."
OIF. And another round of abject whimpering, crying, sighing, and oh yes, more swearing...how could I forget that?
Her: "I'll be here all weekend, recreating that piece of sh!t document for my f@cking boss. I'm going to have to start from scratch, forget it. Don't restore it. Don't even bother. Close the ticket. I don't care, it's all f@cking stupid anyway and I'm royally f@cking screwed now, aren't I?"
Well, yes, you are, because you're stupid when it comes to computers, you work every day in something and you're not willing to learn how it works past how to throw your weight around when something goes wrong. Oh well, sucks to be you, Ms. Lard. Will you have a job come Monday, because you've got a TON of tickets in here like this one...I just checked. Heh.
[note: * indicates names have been changed to protect the guilty. I'm innocent, of course, so my name remains true.]
It's 5:53pm, everyone who has a normal shift is either dreaming about going to Happy Hour with their briefcase in hand and logging off their PCs, or already out the damned door and sitting in traffic. The phone rings. No zip tones here, thank god.
Two rings later, after I fumble with this darned headset, I pick up the line and immediately get:
Her: "I work for Mr. Big Cheese*, and I'm working on this file and now I can't get into it, what can I do I need it right this minute what can I do?" *in a highpitched rambling voice*
Me: "Limburger* Service Desk, this is Kevin...how may I help you?"
Her: "....didn't you hear a word I said? I work for Mr. BIG CHEESE. I need your help right this minute. I'm stupid when it comes to computers, and I work for Mr. Big Cheese." (yes, she actually repeated it...like I *care*.)
Me: (err...okay, all righty then...) "What seems to be the problem, miss...Lard*?"
She goes on to relate that she's working on a large EXTREMELY IMPORTANT Excel spreadsheet, that she's been updating all day long. Yesyes, she's actually saved multiple times, or so she claims. Her PC froze up while doing 25 subtotals, she rebooted her PC but can't get into the file - the file's on a server, how quick can we restore it? She needs it RIGHT THIS MOMENT.
Okaaay. When do I tell her that file restores take generally take 3-5 business days, and that a crashed, corrupt file is not retrievable for file restores on THE SAME DAY? [This was before we instituted real-time file restores on the NAS servers...]
Not like I get a chance.
Me: "Ms. Lard, where is the file located? Which server?"
Her: "It's on the domain. Can you get it or not?"
Me: "Ma'am, depending on your location and job title, it could be any of 15 different domains, and there's many, many servers under each of those." (no lie. Yikes.)
Her: "Does it matter?" *snort* "I need this NOW."
Oif. After 15 minutes, I'm ready to reach through the phone and strangle the dumb admin assistant. I eventually have to give her the basic rundown for how servers work, where to look, how to find the damned Start button, etc. The basic minutiae that we all take for granted, wasn't taken for granted here. Ouch.
Me: "Okay, now that we have the server name and location of the document, " (a full 11 subdirectories drilled down...which I don't have access to because of the area it's in) "...what were you..."
Her, breaking in: "Well, can you see it, can you open it, canyouretrieveitforme?"
So I go to tell her that I don't have access to such certain directories, and she's NOT HAPPY, fuming in fact. So after she tells me how when she tries to open it now it just clocks and clocks and hangs her PC, I further twist the spike of luserhood into her gut.
Me: "Well, since I don't have access, I will need to submit this to server support in order to restore the file. Please understand any work created today will not be saved, due to..."
Her: "WHAT?!?! I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS ALL FU@KING DAY! WHAT THE F@CK DO YOU MEAN IT'S GONE? ARE YOU F@CKING SH!TT!NG ME? WHAT A BUNCH OF BULLSH!T. I CAN'T F@CKING BELIEVE THAT. YOU'VE GOTTA BE FULL OF SH!T..." (and on and on and...*hello mr. mute button, how are you?* Let her get it out of her system...rantrantrant...I'm seriously considering revamping my "if they're not cursing AT me, it's no big deal" policy, boy am I hungry...this is actually pretty funny...)
Me: *mute off* "Ma'am, if you continue swearing like that, I will be forced to disconnect."
Her: "WHAT THE F@CK...Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm close to tears here."
Me: No, you're not, you're snorfling your runny nosed snot back into your nose IN MY EAR, which is almost worse than people chewing chips and slurpcrunching like absolute pigs. "...And, because this is a Friday night, the chances of getting a file restored tonight are quite slim, sorry..."
There she goes again. Boy, that girl's got a mouth on her. I suspect that there's no one around her because they can probably hear her in Detroit. Holy obnoxious aggravated admins, Batman.
She's now crying between nasty comments and I know I should hang up on her and really piss her off, but this is the most fun I've had all night. So far, the company's a pile of crap, the server is a piece of crap, the rules and regulations are below pig vomit, Ms. Lard is on the warpath, and I'm secretly chortling on mute.
You know, it'd be one thing if she had started off polite, but no...
From there, I interject with, "Ma'am, in the future, you may find it to be a good practice to save your work on the hard drive also before attempting large calculations on a server-based document, especially one in which you've never saved a copy of, otherwise. You may wish to save a copy in another location on the server, also..."
OIF. And another round of abject whimpering, crying, sighing, and oh yes, more swearing...how could I forget that?
Her: "I'll be here all weekend, recreating that piece of sh!t document for my f@cking boss. I'm going to have to start from scratch, forget it. Don't restore it. Don't even bother. Close the ticket. I don't care, it's all f@cking stupid anyway and I'm royally f@cking screwed now, aren't I?"
Well, yes, you are, because you're stupid when it comes to computers, you work every day in something and you're not willing to learn how it works past how to throw your weight around when something goes wrong. Oh well, sucks to be you, Ms. Lard. Will you have a job come Monday, because you've got a TON of tickets in here like this one...I just checked. Heh.
[note: * indicates names have been changed to protect the guilty. I'm innocent, of course, so my name remains true.]
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no subject
Date: 2005-05-07 03:14 am (UTC)It was a while back, so I don't even recall what happened with it... although her name just popped into my head a second ago. (another blot of useless information to bash around in my overcrowded skull)
no subject
Date: 2005-05-07 10:03 am (UTC)What is it about computers that makes people's brains dribble out their ears? Who'd believe anyone who complained they couldn't get their work done because they hadn't learned how to use a pencil? Or a pocket calculator? Or some strange bit of proprietary machinery?
Uh... isn't it, ya know, part of the JOB? The knowledge is hardly written in ancient forgotten languages on granite tablets at the bottom of the ocean and guarded by ice-dragons.
We've all had stupid moments. In her case, she not only has a way out (can re-do it) and an excuse (the computers ate the data and the company doesn't have backup systems capable of restoring it), but has been told how to avoid it happening next time (save local, save often). Inconvenient, but hardly cause for an attack of the insane brain boogers.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-07 03:11 am (UTC)I work on large spreadsheets all the time, and hey man, suck it up if you don't save often, and also on your own hd. You can delete it off your hd any time once all the major calcs are done.
Bloody hell.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-07 03:28 am (UTC)I'm going to start having to wear a padded helmet to work thanks to all the helpless idiots I have the misfortune to deal with day in and day out.
*headdesk*
Ooooh...smooshy thuddy feelings!
no subject
Date: 2005-05-07 03:31 am (UTC)But there's no helping the stupids in the world. None.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-07 06:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-09 08:30 pm (UTC)...The customer I'm talking to just asked me what was so funny...
no subject
Date: 2005-05-07 08:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-07 11:59 am (UTC)Had someone else freaking out yesterday because she'd been working on something for 5 days... Fortunately, her problem was that she was just having server connection wierdness and sorted it herself.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-07 01:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-07 08:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-07 11:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-09 03:04 pm (UTC)