This is not a 1-900 number

[nyquilusa.livejournal.com]

An older man called up just now because he had a random problem with his connection (modem already in use). Restarting fixed it right off the bat. The next five minutes were spent with him blatantly trying to flirt and resisting ending the call.

I understand techs are sexy, but most customers aren't. He decided to tell me he thought flirting on the phone was harmless, as you can share fantasies, it isn't vulgar, and what you talk about on the phone stays on the phone. I should have told him we record calls, even though we don't. "You know flirting over the phone is different than flirting in person?" No, no it isn't. I repeatedly tried to close the call by saying, "well it looks like your problem is fixed" and answering flirtation with silence or asking if he had any other issues with his connection, but he'd interject by reading aloud a spam email, or pondering ad aware versus spybot, slip in some more flirting, and talk about anti virus programs. Gah.

Comments

[igz00.livejournal.com]

I gotta wonder if people like that break things just so they can call and talk to someone... anyone... just another human being...

[servermonkey.livejournal.com]

Ew. My only thought had been, "What a freak."

Yours is quite disturbing.

[igz00.livejournal.com]

my job here is done

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

"I'm afraid I can't flirt on the job, because all our calls are recorded. Would you like to say your name again for the tape?"

[linguafranca.livejournal.com]

http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp06142004.shtml

[nyquilusa.livejournal.com]

ooh. And you could order work shirts from tshirthell.com

[jecook]

::falls out of chair laughing::

[ashton-blaze.livejournal.com]

think that was funny, try actually going to the site mentioned!

http://nerdrotica.com/

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

Note in the account that he is contacting the wrong number for support and needs to be forwarded to the "pay for support" line. :)

[jjjiii]

Not allowed to hang up on "customers"?

[tecie.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of a call I once I had on Lotus Notes where the user was an older man and a younger woman (I could hear her in the background) called in after the younger woman couldn't correct the issue.
I started telling the user how to correc the issue (it's in an unlikely place in the location document) and the younger woman who was apparently at the console decided I didn't know what I was doing and said "That's it, I'm trying my idea."
The user then very politely told me that if what she was doing didn't work, he would need my help for two things:
1) correcting whatever she is causing
2) "Giving her a good old fashioned wooping"

And they were recording the lines those days.

[pixeltwist.livejournal.com]

I hate it when customers ask me anything personal, no matter what age.

I mean, I don't know what it matters if I'm married or single or whatever. I normally just give a flat answer of yes or tell them I'm not old enough to get married (I'm 19). Then they ususally procede to tell me I'm old enough or blah blah.

We have to give 3 warnings before hanging up though.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

"I'm an 87-year-old transsexual Romanian werewolf. You want to marry me, get in line sonny."

My best of those

[yduras.livejournal.com]

My favorite of the freaky personal questions was the customer who asked about the origin of my name (what did it mean, history, etc.)

Turns out he wasn't trying to suss my ethnicity, as I first suspected. His wife was pregnant with a girl and he thought my name sounded nice...

I do wonder, though, how you tell a child you named her after your tech support rep...

[katyism.livejournal.com]

how'd you finally end the call?

[annamaryse.livejournal.com]

I put people like that on hold and get one of the guys to take over the call, that cools their jets in a heartbeat. I had one LOCAL caller show up at our offices once, fended him off by them sending him packing, but that was scary!

[mg4h.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry sir, I'm only allowed to talk about things of a technical nature. If you insist on bringing sexual innuendo into this call, I'll have to start charging you my standard rate of $50/minute. Tell me your credit card number, then please hold while I check your available balance."

What I'd love to say to that kind of a call ;)

[sigurther.livejournal.com]

Hell,if your calls aren't recorded, and you finished the service, you need to buy one of those little boxes that generates static noise. "I'm*KKSSHHHHH*..ir, but it se*KSSSHHH*..'er getting a l*KSSHHHH*f line no*KSSHHHHH* Please ho*KSSHHHHH* *KSHHHH*.. reaking up*KSSHHHHHH* ~click~ *dial tooooooooooooooonnnne*

[veeedka.livejournal.com]

"I understand techs are sexy"

Damn straight we are!

:D