smaaaaaart

[normal1.livejournal.com]

Okay listen up old people (and young alike) when you call someone for tech support, specifically an ISP who basically has all the powers in the world to keep you offline for an entire day (at least I do) - do not FUCK with them.

Got a call today from some dumb ass that thinks he's l33t cause he knows what "ping" is. Anyway, the first thing he asks is "Do you know why my internet is not working?" and right away I know this call is not going to go well. I tell him "I have no clue, but we can troubleshoot to find out". First thing I ask is "What does I.E. say?" he sais "I dont use I.E." - which is understandable, however, we dont support anything BUT I.E.

So I ask again "Lets go ahead and click on Internet Explorer" to which he replies "I think I uninstalled it". Now knowing full well he just lied to my face I'm pissed and no longer nice. "Sir, if you are unwilling to troubleshoot the situation I will be forced to disconnect the call as there are other customers willing to provide me with the information needed to troubleshoot". So then he began to ping a website and got nowhere.. then hes like "okay well, let me bypass the router" (meanwhile I havent said a word since my last statement) - once he bypassed it he was able to connect to the Internet and wouldn't you know it! his last statement to me? "You have been of absolutely no help"

Well guess who's getting signed up for free porn and getting his modem deprovisioned. BEEOTCH!

Comments

[taleya.livejournal.com]

It's amazing how many of them don't realise the inherent stupidity in pissing off someone who not only knows your name, but your address, your credit card details....

Interesting juxtaposition. They don't trust us to tech support them properly *OMGFIXITNOWIKNOWYOUCAAAAAAAN!!* but they'll hand over personal details like free candy.....

[katyism.livejournal.com]

sounds like a user of ours who, every time he calls (often 5 times a day) never fails to mention that he dual boots windows and linux, no matter how irrelevant that information is (and it is almost always *totally* irrelevant). he'll mention it several times in the middle of interrupting you.

"So, what IP address are you pulling from dhcp right now?"
"It's 169.x.x.x but I bet it'd be different in Linux"
"That's quite a possibility. If you'd like to boot into Linux I can transfer you to the mac/unix team..."
"No, I uh... don't have my internet set up in linux..."
"Really? They can help with that. What build?"
"Uh... redhat linux?"
"Build number?"
"What's that?"
"Nevermind. let's troubleshoot this in windows, since that's what we're both familiar with."
"SIGH! FINE! I run linux AND windows by the way..."
"yeah...that's pretty leet..."
"so are you going to help me?"
"sure, are you going to help me help you?"

and so on.

needless to say we hate this guy. he's an idiot who thinks that since he managed to install linux, he's superbad.

[tjernobyl.livejournal.com]

I had someone call in once asking for help setting up dialup under Linux. I perked up; we don't actually support it, but it might be fun to try. I asked him what distribution he was running. He didn't know. I had no option but to send him off to RTFM...

[kallell.livejournal.com]

Out of curiosity, what if he really HAD uninstalled IE?

[normal1.livejournal.com]

There's no way to uninstall IE from XP, at least no way that this customer knows. These customers are not all that bright just so you know. To answer your question, I wouldnt have been able to help him.

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

You can damage it with the registry. :)

As far as annoying your customers to piss them off. I found a screen today which allows me to control if we send them advertisements promoting our services through phone, email, and regular mail...

Sell away, if you know what I mean...

[kallell.livejournal.com]

Ok, I have uninstalled IE from windows before but not from XP. Tho it did show a way to remove from xp as well.

silly policies ;)

[sputtertoo.livejournal.com]

I dunno sounds as if the free porn subscription would be a favor to this cat.