For This, I Need The Chainsaw Of Natural Selection

[fragbert.livejournal.com]

More tales from the Help Desk where I, grayhawkfh, liakela, klytus and voiceofthelost all work (and where danicia is our boss):

Background: We support a proprietary behemoth of a hack used to manage sales accounts and used by roving sales drones. We hate supporting it, they hate using it. 'Nuff said.

So this user, who is supposedly higher up on the food chain than most, calls (and gets me, so his luck has already taken a downturn) and is having difficulty viewing volume on an account.

Me: So what error are you receiving when you attempt to view volume?
Starfish: I'm not getting any error.
Me: So what exactly happens when you look at the volume?
Starfish: Nothing.

Then why are you calling....oh, wait a sec. Is this a how-to question?

Me: Then what's the difficulty?
Starfish: (finally gives up) I don't know how.
Me: Is [name of app] open on your computer?
Starfish: I'm not near my computer.
Me: *eyeroll* Can you go ahead and power up the computer so I can walk you through it?
Starfish: Just tell me what screen to look at!
Me: It's a simple process, sir, but we need to make sure you understand it. You also need to have the computer powered up so that we can address any errors you might be receiving.
Starfish: *click*
Me: [to my co-workers] Hehehe. User disconnected!
Boss [who has overheard everything]: Send me that case number!

Comments

[rainas.livejournal.com]

the sweet smell of being right

[katyism.livejournal.com]

I love those, where it takes 5 minutes of prodding, increasinly asinine tones of voice, and carefully worded questions to get the VIP to admit they just don't know how to do something rather than "it's broken/erroring/other lies"