(no subject)

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Can someone please tell me why it's illegal for me to stab my fucking idiot coworkers in the face?

Comments

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

Only while you're in view of the cameras, dear.

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Does that mean I can shove them off the upper level carpark instead?

[fnordx.livejournal.com]

No, you can't shove them.

They can accidentally trip, however, and you can try to 'save' them, and just not be able to.

An awful tragedy.

[taleya.livejournal.com]

well, I'd be the only witness...my story is the one that will stick :D

[fnordx.livejournal.com]

They have to be trying to harm you physically.

Wait until they have a fork in their hand.

[bdinger.livejournal.com]

This right here is specifically why I don't carry a knife.

There'd be about 20 motherfuckers dead with forks in their hands, and me trying to explain to the cops that they turned into zombies and I just had to stab them in the fucking eye.

Users.... :)

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

Sometimes these idiots just fall off the face of the earth in Darwinian fashion. Nobody needs to know you helped assist fate.

[d0rx0r.livejournal.com]

Just provoke them to throw the first punch. Everything from there is self defense.

[malgrep.livejournal.com]

Did you come in to work and one of them asked you "A user emailed us saying she needs a new hard drive. What does that mean?"

No?

Why am I the only one that happens to.

[perkybitch.livejournal.com]

As long as no one sees you do it, your in the clear :)

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

I know coworkers who hate coworkers, so it all works out in the end. I think it would be great if we could have a rumble. I envision a rumble like in Anchorman. Heh.

"Breck, you killed a guy! You should stay low for a while."

[anivair.livejournal.com]

Saddly, I can't come up with one reason.

[igz00.livejournal.com]

you probably could have gotten away with it... until you made this post.

[j-digi82.livejournal.com]

Uh-oh, do we have a leak?

[igz00.livejournal.com]

nah, just a big enough Law & Order geek to know that they'd find this post in a second.

[j-digi82.livejournal.com]

What if, hypothetically (of course), the post was to delete itself if any mishaps occurred?

[igz00.livejournal.com]

Depends on how suspicious they are of you... cause it'll probably still be sitting in a cache somewhere... or in email responses like this.

[j-digi82.livejournal.com]

True, Carnivore is watching!!!!

[igz00.livejournal.com]

Although I guess all this post would do would to change it from self-defense to premeditated murder... no big deal, right?

[j-digi82.livejournal.com]

Hey, I guess it's three square meals a day and cable TV!

[igz00.livejournal.com]

Better than I've got now... sadly

[j-digi82.livejournal.com]

LoL, I know the feeling! I think someone wasn't being totally honest when they told me college would be the best time of my life!!!!!!!!

[igz00.livejournal.com]

I think when they said "best" they meant the time in your life when you would come closest to becoming insane.

[taleya.livejournal.com]

I must ask......what is that delightful creature in your icon? it looks like a newborn rabbit, but they don't quite stand up like that....

[igz00.livejournal.com]

Its Pig... she was a naked hampster... adorable and great for kids with allergies! :)

[eightofspades.livejournal.com]

IIRC, Carnivore as we know it was closed down a couple months ago.

There are far more efficient methods now anyhow.

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

Plz review some of the "Terry Schiavo" arguments in favor of keeping her fed, then get back to us. With lusers it's not usually so clearcut.

[japester.livejournal.com]

It's only illegal if you get caught.