(no subject)

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

I wish I worked at a callcenter that valued "Fixing the problem" over "Mollycoddling" when it comes to making the customer happy. I truly hate this crap we're supposed to do. I'm supposed to apologize for their inconvenience. I'm supposed to use their name three times. I'm supposed to use 'we' words. When I get the customer online, I'm supposed to take them to our website (which works 80% of the time) to prove route, or else it doesn't count.

Man, I can't be the only one on the planet who hates psychological crap like that. Maybe I'm just strange. I mean, I don't like it when my waiters touch me or kneel down next to me or give me a clevage shot in order to make me feel more like tipping. I'd rather have a meal that didn't take 45 minutes and was actually correct. Silly me, wanting what I actually fucking ordered, and judging the performance of my server by those criteria. Same thing with my computer. The rare times I have to call tech support for MY Dsl, I don't want to be apologized to. I don't want them to talk to me using my name as if they know me, as if we're buddies. I don't want them saying 'we' and 'let's'. I want the problem solved. That means I want to talk to the most knowledgable sonofabitch on the floor, if I can, and since I can't get that, then I want the guy who doesn't play that bullshit. Why? Because if he's still there while not doing that shit they tell him to do, then obviously he's good enough at actually FIXING PROBLEMS that they keep him around.

So each time my company yells at me and says I should do this, I try to do it with about 30% of my being, but if I miss it? Eh. Who cares. When 99% of my callers walk away with a solved problem, they don't really give a shit if I said their name or not.

I really need to work for a company that values RESULTS.

(*or her)

Comments

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

I'm in full agreement. The Japanese have a word for sugar-coating an unpalatable truth. I find the whole concept odious.

As far as I figure it, attempting to sweet-talk someone like that is psychological fraud. It removes information from the communication - obscuring or ignoring the truth.

As to working for a company that values results... [shrug] Every company would say they value results. The problem comes when the linked concepts of 'company image' and 'shareholder value' rear their ugly heads. Though our job is to solve the problem, the company's job is to make money. Not a situation I'm happy with but hey, that's the bottom line - as they say.

[usekh.livejournal.com]

Ah yes nothing like "Customer intimacy"

I really don't want to get intimate with most of these idiots.

[axessdenyd.livejournal.com]

...but what is the word?

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

Heh I don't know! I don't speak Japanese.

Apparently, this is my favourite, there is also a word that means 'To test a new sword on a chance passer-by'.
This is hearsay and I cannot vouch for the veracity of the data. But it sounds cool anyway.

[xdownfornowx.livejournal.com]

i don't mind when the hooters girls fuck my order. I still tip good.

[katyism.livejournal.com]

My workplace values results. It means nothing if the customers don't, though. The vast majority of them would rather get customer service instead of computer help and they call with this in mind. It doesn't mesh! I hate being polite and I just want to solve their problem and hang up, which is what my boss wants too but not the customers. If only they felt the same way.

[normal1.livejournal.com]

It would be a lot better if we can do it the other way around, focus on solving the issue and THEN providing customer service. It is very difficult for me to troubleshoot with someone while being nice because they come out with some stupid crap out of nowhere which they know is upsetting.

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

Both those sentences sound like euphemisms.

[axessdenyd.livejournal.com]

I still think the Germans win with Schadenfreude: Happiness at the misfortune of others

The basis of this community, no less.

[ravenshrinkery.livejournal.com]

Could be worse. Only now is our client getting a clue that solving customer's problems is what technical support should be doing. We had been preaching sales sales sales, fuck how the customer feels, we already have their money and trying to retain customers isn't worth it anyway, but we can't just tell them to fuck off either.

What pisses me off is how we can't say anything bad about any vendor or even competitor and must use careful tact when directly comparing products of ours to vendors. Sometimes someone else really did fuck up. AOL does it all the time. But I have to beat around the bush at that even when it's obvious. THAT is annoying.

[xdownfornowx.livejournal.com]

completely unitentional and most like subliminal. I need to get a grilled cheese and fries with my order of orange shorts.

[jjjiii]

I like to call that treatment "the verbal suck-off". Except it's really no substitution for actually receiving head.

[darkblade1.livejournal.com]

This post is just about perfect because that's exactly how I feel some days. Why do I have to focus on customer service before the troubleshooting part?? It's exactly how other people have posted replies. Customers don't care about all the sugar coated s*t you give them. As long as they're online, they could care less.

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

I didn't think that was the basis of this community until quite recently.

I think the Bushmen of the Kalahari win. Nothing beats a !

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

Can you pick this problem and the immediate fix?

Every time I download my email I get disconnected.

??

[methedras.livejournal.com]

Haha, brilliant icon.

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

Outlook or your other client likely has the 'disconnect when done getting mail' option checked.

TF did this go here for?

[infy.livejournal.com]

Usually it ends up being the big greasy male cook in the kitchen that ends up fucking your order. The Hooters girls just get to bring it to you and apologize by shaking their tits in your face.

And let's hope he's not literally fucking your order. "Sir, we're not entirely sure that's really ranch dressing. Oh, you're finished? Nevermind."

[belovedcrown.livejournal.com]

i think that a lot of businesses just want to know that you honestly care about other people, namely your customers. that you're not just in the job because you like tech stuff, or for the money or whatever, but because you are interested in helping people. because you care about their problems and their ability to get their work done and would feel bad if you weren't able to help them. that you can genuinely empathize with them when they tell you they need this to work in order for their business to make money or for them to keep their job.

i always feel sad when i see so many tech people [not implying you are this way, i don't know you] who just care about tech and don't like people or care about people.

[twitchfetish.livejournal.com]

amen brother. We have to do similar shit at our workplace, including a nice little "is there anything else i can help you with?" at the end of the conversation, then "thank you for calling *company*"

load of shit. i'm sure you can see why. i've actually gotten a warning for not using them.

as you said, i want knowledge, not bullshit babying. Calling my ISP for DNS settings is painful to say the least. they all have the "call centre steps to success" words down pat, but NOT ONE of the 5 people i talked to even knew what DNS was!!!

i wanted to set up the connection using the default setup applet, not their stupid fucking bloated software. techs? i don't think so.

but rant aside, i'd like for the people who invent shit like "you have to use "we" words!" to actually spend some time on the phones instead of over their desk rogering the secretary...

IV

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

One of our clients wrote in to complain about this problem. She had taken the computer to a tech who had had it for three days. The tech couldn't solve the problem and charged her $40 for, err.. labour or something.

Don't you think that anyone charging for technical support should know exactly how to solve that problem within about 30 secs? Yet she was complaining that we were the problem. I just wanted to explain to her that she had been ripped off by a completely incompetent tech, of course, I couldn't.

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

Natch. I can sum all this up.

People like _US_ care about results.

The average end-user wants to hear what they want to hear, and no further.