(no subject)

[jacobine.livejournal.com]

Yes, I am the help desk.

But no. I am NOT the keeper of the keys, the tracker of the techs or the person who handles the schedule for the conference rooms. Just because I am female does not mean I am a secretary. I don't know where they keep all the spare copier paper. For that matter, I don't know the fax machine number, either. And while I do generally know if a tech is working from one day to the next... I do not know their schedule. I don't make their schedule. I can't tell you where they are on any given day unless they tell me. I can't tell you when they're going to come fix your stuff, although I probably can tell you if there's a major issue preventing them from getting to you. I also don't know when they're at their desk. See.. I have a nice corner office since I'm glued to a phone all day. But that means I can't see where most of these people you are asking about are, because they do not walk by me!

And even if they did, I probably wouldn't notice because, y'know, it's not my job. And I'm working.

Leave them a damn voice mail if you really want to reach them. That's what it's there for.

Comments

[samwize.livejournal.com]

Christ, do I know where you're coming from.

"Hey Sam, can you tell get us into Guy Who Left's cell-phone's voicemail? We need to retrieve some stuff."

"Well, I can try. What's the password?"

"Duhhhhhhh......password?"

"You'll have to call the phone company."

"But...But you're the TECH GUY!"

"Yes, but I'm not magic."

GRAH!

[annamaryse.livejournal.com]

My favorite is when they say: "Hi, this is so-and-so, can you get one of the techs to call as soon as someone's available?" the minute they hear my voice -- when in fact I'm the person they need. Oh - and FYI there's another community called techgirls in case you'd like to join...

[jacobine.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes. There's one user in particular who calls and asks to speak to a tech whenever he calls. He won't tell me what the issue is; whatever I get is like pulling teeth. I don't even want to speak to him anymore.

I opened a ticket for him once and the tech emailed me that he 'needed more information.' I had to tell him that he was lucky to get as much as he did.

[kerberos.livejournal.com]

Just tell him "I'm the tech, you don't wanna deal with me then your not getting any help".

And if he bitches report him to his supervisor.

*grin*

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, the 'enough rope' users. My own preference is to come at it from the reverse angle - don't try and gouge the information out of them, just sit back and wait for them to supply it. If they ask for a transfer or a callback, politely deny them, saying you can't do that until you get some basic information.

I think I've driven a couple of people nuts this way. They end up demanding to know the information I need.

It helps, too, to recognize attempts at social manipulation. Everything from tone of voice, to whining or heavy sighs down the phone, are an attempt to make you feel bad for not doing what this caller wants immediately, if not sooner.

Screw 'em. Anyone annoying me over a phone line very quickly runs into an ear full of exceedingly polite steel wall.

"Greetings, caller. Welcome to my dungeon. If you are polite and have a genuine reason to call, I may even allow you to escape. Five minutes or five hours, I get paid either way.

...You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike."