Okay thats it

[normal1.livejournal.com]

I just had this customer call in complaining that his internet is slow. He asked if there was an outage to which I replied 'No sir, no outages at this time'. He kept explaining that its slow, upon checking the account everything appeared to be fine. Asked if he had a router, he did. Advised to bypass it and plug one computer directly... ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.

This fool started talking about how he's A+ Certified and that he has an I.T. Background and how I'm making him feel like - and I quote - "shit" - because of my troubleshooting methods. I advised him that I understood and I could appreciate that but I couldn't care less (I used the phrase "I dont care" without knowing) - anywho, got him calmed down enough to figure out that his NIC went bye-bye probably because he's a moron.

Please, to whomever reads this, wether you're a tech or not, if you ask _ANYONE_ for help, wether you're a doctor asking a nurse for help, a truck mechanic asking a car mechanic about something, please remember YOU are the one SEEKING HELP, being a jackass is not an excuse for someone to help you. I almost hung up on this moron, he got me so pissed I had to take a break.

Comments

[greeklady.livejournal.com]

That is the beauty of people who are certified. So many companies put such an emphasis on it. All it means is that you can memorize and pay for the test. Other than that, most 'certified' ass's I come accross just screw things up worse than when they found it.

If I were that certified asshat I'd be ashamed of calling in and wouldn't have mentioned that they are a tech. Take away his tech card, he don't deserve it.

[jecook]

heh.

the A+ certification means about 6 months in the field.

even with the 10+ years of experience I have, I still learn things. like how a power supply can cause a machine to do truely bizzare things.

[normal1.livejournal.com]

I can appreciate people that take the time to get a cert. But gosh darnit, don't call me and tell me you're A+ certified, I could give a rat's ass, your A+ is worthless to me, it may be worth something to the company you work, but dont come at me with that bullshit about you being certified in something that I've studied on my own time for 8 years and have way more experience than you In.

*stops rant*

[sketchydave.livejournal.com]

No kidding. The times I've had to call into tech support for my problems I usually inform them up front that I am a tech myself. But thats more to determine skill level. Like you can just tell me to open up a command prompt, not click on Start..Run..type in command...

I also find out real quick if my call went to someone qualified in the US or someone reading a script in India.

[indigo-max.livejournal.com]

Paper Techs (A+, MCSE's, etc) are a pain in the A$$ if you ask me. I known enough of them that have gone through this or that bootcamp and still couldn't do a tech support call to save their rumps. The certs look wonderful framed up on a wall but they aren't worth the paper they are printed on.

Max...

[zhent.livejournal.com]

A+ is generally worthless, but...

After 10 years in electronics, 8+ years in PC support the company I now work for required me to get my A+ cert. Not that it means anything. Everyone I worked with kept telling me that I knew more than they did and they were already certified...

And yes, I had to call for support myself last night, to find that the connection to my cable modem was weak and there really was a problem. Of course I opened his call politely by answering his questions first, then going through slowly, step by step, everything I had done prior to calling. This enabled him to know I had some idea what I was talking about before he started asking me to try this or that. It eliminated the need to tell me to try ipconfig again, or restart the router, as I was already there...

[madd-trinity.livejournal.com]

I really, really hated that. I would always get calls from the admin. or I.T. person or the so-called professional saying I know what I'm doing or that won't work. Well if they knew what they were doing then why the hell are they talking to me??? I would just LOVE to say: "Well, you called me for assistance and you will not let me do my job so: FIX IT YOUR DAMN SELF, YOU FUCKING DIMWIT."

[ladynisa.livejournal.com]

Thats when you pull out the line of, "Well sir, let me ask you this, if your car engine was making funny noises and wasn't working quite the way it used to, would you just go under the hood and start pulling things out? ... No? ... You would take it to your mechanic. Yes! That's a very good answer! Think of me in this way, I am your internet mechanic, and if you have gone in and played with things on your computer, its now my job to help you figure out how to fix this. Except I can't take your computer away from you for a few days and make you leave me alone so i can figure it out myself, you see, we are on the PHONE, which requires you to LISTEN to my INSTRUCTIONS, because everything i ask you to do here is stuff that I would try on my own if I had your computer in my hands. ... Yes, I'm sure you're certified, and thats why you thought of doing this yourself, instead of calling us, isn't it?"

[infy.livejournal.com]

I do that too, especially when they go off on weird tangents. I especially love talking to Comcast Support in these instances... though I'd suspect I'd get better assistance from a platypus.

[jacobine.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I tend to tell them I do it for a living, too. And tell them what I've already done.

I've gotten myself escalated before by challenging the script bunny.

[jacobine.livejournal.com]

I had the same problem, except I opened my explanation with a spiel about how it was intermittant, what I'd done and how I had to powercycle multiple times and ipconfig /renew to get the DNS to work. He put me on hold for a few minutes and came back with 'Yes, your signal is weak, we'll send a tech out.'

[docskurlock.livejournal.com]

I will admit, I've yelled at techsupport before. I'm a yeller, yes. However, to defend myself, the only ones I've yelled at are the script kiddies. They don't know 95 from XP and most certainly don't know an ipconfig from a tracert. I used to have issues with Comcast, when they first took over from AT&T. They had to send four different techs out to finally fix the problem. Anyway, yes, I yelled at the idiots. I yelled at the ones who told me that it was my computer, or my router. When I calmly tried to tell them it was not and that this was a prior issue, the script kiddie would tell me that a tech had to come out. I love being right, but I hated yelling.

Then of course, there was the script kiddie that made a sarcastic remark about me using 2k pro.

On another note, if I ever yelled at any of you guys, consider this my apology. I have kudos of respect for you guys (those that aren't script kiddies). I try to be humble when I call and usually, I can tell the script from the one that knows what they're talking about. Attitude helps a lot, hehe.

Sorry for the long comment.

[normal1.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I aswell as all the other techs that have ever been treated like the caller I had appreciate the apology and respect you for apologizing.

Cheers bud!

[docskurlock.livejournal.com]

Thanks for that, really appreciate that.

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

"Ah yes, A+. I remember getting mine all those years ago. So, you can fix this problem by yourself? No? Then let's start from the top."

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

Most certified asses have the study material RIGHT FKN THERE when they're taking the tests =/

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

Like make that pretty green front power LED flash amber for no apparent reason, then work fine after rebooting =/

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

oh THAT kind of script kiddie..

I thought you meant "hacker wannabe" for a moment..
*cloud of confusion passes*

[dmsalem00.livejournal.com]

"HEY DO WE SELL LEEDERACOLA HERE??"

[normal1.livejournal.com]

My hat is off to you. I'm sure I as well as other people who strive to move up in a company through the helpdesk appreciate the fact that you have some common sense.

[greeklady.livejournal.com]

What? Are you kidding me?

As you can see I have never had the time and the money at the same time to go get my own.

[normal1.livejournal.com]

lol or "How many quaters would you need to reach the moon?" - lame microsoft

[docskurlock.livejournal.com]

Hahhaah. Yeah, wasn't sure if everyone would get it or not.

[tjernobyl.livejournal.com]

At AT&T/Comcast (I worked there around the time of the transition), having actual knowledge was a liability. If you didn't know anything, you'd run through your script nice and fast, and get rewarded. If you knew what you were doing, you'd try to fix the problem, which would hurt your handle time, and you'd get marks off for going off-script. Systemic issue rather than any of the agents individually.

[docskurlock.livejournal.com]

Interesting and I'm glad you said that. I did note that they tried to get me off the phone as quickly as possible. I think it's ridiculous that they reward the idiots and punish those with knowledge. I always enjoyed talking to those that knew what they were doing.

[tjernobyl.livejournal.com]

It's a very easy trap to fall into for an outsourcer. One would need to provide numbers to highers-up, but what should matter most is customer satisfaction, a value that is very difficult to quantize.

[docskurlock.livejournal.com]

Indeed it is. However, I would think that customer satisfaction would be the number to worry about. Just my thought.