Best lines for female techs?

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

So why is it that callers have a much harder time accepting a female voice as their information source? Heck, I thought Majel Barrett set the stage for omnipotent technical knowledge forty years ago. Not to mention assorted priestesses and oracles in the distant past (not much good for callers who failed history). Artemis/Diana would be a logical choice for an (information) hunter deity, would she not? So why do female techs get treated like Cassandra?

Most relevantly, are there words, lines, or turns of phrase which can gently (or not-so-gently) help befuddled callers quickly realise that yes, the female voice on the other end of the line can fix their computer?

Comments

[linguafranca.livejournal.com]

You know, I've never had that problem. Occasionally I'll get "Uh... I was holding for tech support?" but when I say, "This is tech support," they sometimes sound mildly surprised but don't give me any grief.

I always imagined if someone had a problem with my female-ness, I'd say, "Well, let me give it a shot. If I can't fix it, I'll let you talk to my supervisor, Toby."

What I wouldn't mention is that Toby's female as well.

[methedras.livejournal.com]

Hahaha that's fantastic, regarding Toby.

[mystii.livejournal.com]

that's what i used to do, too. They'd say they didn't want to talk to a female rep, so i'd say that there were no male reps available, and would they like to talk to my manager... who was female as well. :)

[anaesthete.livejournal.com]

When I used to support mouth-breathers (the type who can't find the OK button in a dialog box), my favourite response to the "I want to talk to man" crap was a precious little fib:

Well I used to be a man, honey, is that good enough for you?

Usually that made them hang up, and considering what our hold times used to be, 'twas a fitting punishment for their misogyny.

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

Ohhh that is glorious.

[kyndig.livejournal.com]

Now that is clever!

[crankyholly.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, I have a tech friend at work who honestly can say that. I pity the customer who crosses her!

[mtlchick.livejournal.com]

That's excellent! You just made me spray water out my nose :P

Wah ha ha!

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's good.

[oddball42.livejournal.com]

reminds me of when on of our female reps got a caller who did give her greif and demanded to talk to a man who knoew what he was doing, and she replied with you can talk to me or to my shift lead *female name* or to her boss *female name* if you have problems with my ability to support you...

i think he hung up... dont remeber...

[tadiera.livejournal.com]

I once had a (female) customer tell me 'I am so glad I got a female tech! It makes me feel a lot better.'

[linguafranca.livejournal.com]

That I get a lot, actually! :)

[katyism.livejournal.com]

Me too, from female faculty and young female students. They even whine to me about the guys they talked to when the've called before...

"Yeah hi! I talked to this erm.. young MAN when i called earlier and he wasn't helpful...i'm so glad I got you" and they don't even know if i'm going to be any more helpful, heh.

[methedras.livejournal.com]

I encourage all the girls I know at work to just give the customer grief if they give them shit for being female.

It shouldn't be tolerated, and I don't care whether they pay my wages or not, sometime rudeness just isn't on.

[methedras.livejournal.com]

They don't get a chance to give you shit, because you're giving em shit as soon as you pick up the phone. But that's just your tone of voice. Heh.

[katyism.livejournal.com]

type really fast and really loudly. make sure your phone can pick up the sound of you typing.
once those misogynist callers hear that, it usually occurs to them that their consultant, though female, may be competent.

this has worked for me many times. i'll get a guy, who upon hearing my voice, either requests a male consultant (ugh!) or starts talking r e a l l y slowly as if to a child.

here's an example - one guy was spelling his name out to me after i answered the call and asked for it as per the usual. he spelled it out, one letter per five seconds. i happened to already know his name (as a frequent caller he's alwyas gossiped about in our office) so i typed it and went to another window to type some more crap while he continued spelling his name at a snail's pace and launched into the "i dunno if YOU can help me with this, but I have a problem with outlook. You know outlook, right, the email program? cause it's an email program, not sure if you might know that yet. Well, I got what is known as an Error Message, which is what happens when something goes wrong..."

I quit listening and I typed some more, waiting for him to get to the important part. He interrupted himself, this time speaking quickly and normally.

"Is that you typing?"
"Yes sir."
"Wow sweetie, you type fast! Maybe you know more about what you're doing after all!"
(maybe i know more than WHAT? what you assumed because i'm a girl?) "I'm fully qualified to help you with outlook problems, sir. Could you just summarize up the error message for me real quick? Oh and what version is this?"
"Uh...version? The latest one, I guess."
"Ok, well, not sure if you know that much about outlook yet. I'll tell ya how to check. Go to help, then about Microsoft Outlook..."
I put him in his place politely after that, and the call went fine from there.

[methedras.livejournal.com]

Haha. Owned.

[sargiegirl76.livejournal.com]

Usually I don't get a whole lot of grief for being female when it comes to competence. If I think I am, I usually look at their call history and bring up something I'm sure they wouldn't think I would know - like the server they're running or the database engine that they're using. Then they tend to realize I'm qualified.

Now if I could figure out how to battle the creepy perverts I'd be able to write a book. :)

[loosechanj.livejournal.com]

It's cuz you're too cute to be smart too! Now go back me some pie.

[red-frog.livejournal.com]

The type of female voice may make a difference. If your voice is naturally high and a little breathy or tentative, developing a lower, firmer telephone voice might help.

[taleya.livejournal.com]

"hello, welcome to XYZ internet, Taleya speaking, how may I help you?"

"Uhh, hi...Can I speak to technical support please?"

"I am technical support" (unspoken 'you goddamn dumbass' on the end)

[heathwitch.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I have something similar happen with marketing-type calls...

Me: "Hello, *Company Name*, Heather speaking, how may I help you?"

Caller: "Hello there, can I speak to the owner of the company please?"

"Speaking. What can I do for you?" *wait for moment of silent shock while smirking*

;-)

[jahbulon.livejournal.com]

Well look, Pandora's box, Eve and the apple.. Women just seem to cause far more problems than they solve!





/sooooooo joking. Please don't hurt me.

[gnostalgia.livejournal.com]

"Stop staring at my tits!"

[gnostalgia.livejournal.com]

Actually, I have a more serious suggestion:

Do your very best to stop ending your sentances with a rising tone, which turn statements into quesitons. You know what I mean. That thing that goes like?

"Ok, so go into Microsoft Outlook? Then click on the menu? OK?"

It should sound simple and declarative, like:

"Ok, go into Microsoft Outlook. Then click on the menu. OK?"

That verbal-rising-tone-implied-question-statement thing drives me up a wall.

[pygmymetal.livejournal.com]

I, on the other hand, have used my femininity for good. :p Ex Husband couldn't get the cable people to reset the cable modem. I called, adopted ditzy blonde attitude, and got them to reset the modem tout suite.

[jacobine.livejournal.com]

I usually don't get much trouble, although I do have one user who drives me up the wall. One of the good old boys out at a site.

He kept asking to talk to a tech, and I couldn't get anything out of him about what the problem was outside of the little bit I put in the ticket.

His tech emails me with 'I need more information.' I had to tell him the guy kept asking for a tech and he was lucky to get as much information as the ticket contained since he clearly didn't want to talk to me.

However, most of my users say things like 'oh, I'm so glad you answered the phone!' or tell my new (male) coworker 'Ask jacobine, she knows!'

[greeklady.livejournal.com]

Ha! I got this a lot when I worked tech support for phones.

"I want to speak to a man"
"Well you have me and I can fix your problem"
"No I need to speak with a man"
"I can't transfer you to a man, our phones don't do that. I could make a ticket for you and you can wait for a call back. But he has been with a customer for over an hour now, then he has to go to lunch. You can suffer with me or you can wait 2 hours, your choice."

Granted I was being a shit and totally lied, but like they need to know right?

After much haggling with this caller, I said sir, if I couldn't do my job you wouldn't be talking to me. He finally gave in, it was a two second fix of something so trivial I can't even remember and I was soon his favorite. BLeh to be that asses favorite, shoot me now!

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

"I want to speak to a man"

"Sorry. This is the technical support line, not the Chippendales."

[greeklady.livejournal.com]

BWAAAHAHAHHA that would be a great line!

[megpie71.livejournal.com]

Good geek goddesses:

Athena - goddess of logic, battle planning, and craft skills. Granted, she's a virgin in most of the literature, but there's also the implication that she's gay. (Pallas Athene).

Kali - the goddess of pissed-off tech support. Blood, bones, lots and lots of death and chaos. Pray you get her in Shakti incarnation instead.

The Morrigan - Celtic tripartite death/battle goddess. Again, another goddess of pissed off tech support, but she's the wife of The Dagda, who is the Celtic god of fertility.

Eris - the goddess of strife. Popular opinion has it that she's responsible for a lot of technological problems, and to be honest, she's certainly visible in our job.

There are a lot more goddesses out there than just the standard range of fertility/childbirth/love/growing things types. Anyone know some others who might be appropriate?

[marahsk.livejournal.com]

I've never had anyone who was actually hostile. I've had people ask to speak to a tech, and sound surprised when they found out that they already were. A couple of times I've responded to "You're a girl!" with "Yup, it's the new millenium, they let girls do that now." (said in a very friendly, non-confrontational way so as not to piss them off/get in trouble). They always apologized and insisted that they hadn't meant it that way, they were just surprised. Things went well from there.

[gravito.livejournal.com]

Gender discrimination happens for the same reasons age discrimination happens. The person on the other end has lived with a standard for so long that when that standard is thrown into question, it throws into question the methodology they grew into.

Men, specificaly older men, are astounded that women, most notably younger women, can have the kind of technical expertise to solve situations that they cannot. Just as older men and women are astounded that younger men and women are able to show a great deal of experience equalling or surpassing that of their own.

I'll give you a word of advice. When you think, "I could do their job", but hold back because it breaks tradition, you are looking at it the wrong way. You can indeed do their job. The only thing tying someone to their position is their contacts and political sway.

In the business world, there are only a few technical expertise jobs among multitudes that may surpass your skill. The business managers that pride themselves on being able to "manage people" are full of it. They are not an exception. There are exceptions, but just like in the technical aspects, those individuals are so few and far between that you're most likely NOT dealing with one.

Good managers don't have to manage, they simply exist, ask the right questions, and let their employees work to the best of their ability.

[random-c.livejournal.com]

Tone. It's all down to the *way* you speak. You know what those GPS systems sound like, well that's how you want to sound. Enunciate clearly. Parrot phrases. No emotion in it, just be Efficient, but not *bored*. Computers don't get bored, and your expression is audible in your voice. When I've called tech support in the US everyone I've spoken to has clearly had a fake smile plastered from ear to ear, and I find it offputting. It's like dealing with a brainless receptionist, because they're the only people I usually deal with who are smiling all the time.
Always say the same thing in similar places in exactly the same way. It shows that you are not in the slightest bit confused and have done this exact same thing 100 times before. I could have written a flow chart for most of what I did and built a machine that would do the talking for me when I pressed buttons. Well, I could if I'd been allowed to keep the dev kit from the previous job, anyway. As soon as it's something out of the ordinary, it's 'interesting' and you turn into a vulcan instead of a computer. The phrase 'OK well we've eliminated the simple things it might have been, so we're going to have to get a little more in depth.' is handy.

[mg4h.livejournal.com]

An illustration of your problem, and a funny way to deal with it would be here at this Queen of Wands (http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20040324.html) comic. Dunno if you've seen it ;)