techrecovery | Some people just don't need a website...

So, we have this little website-builder product that allows customers to design and upload their webpage and its components, no HTML knowledge necessary, right from their web browser.

It works surprisingly well - that is, until you consider the fact that most of these people don't even know how to use the basic functions of their PC, let alone properly naming/cropping/resizing images, knowing what case sensitivity means, or even realizing that they need to click on the "Save" button to save their work...

Rule 1: If you don't know how to browse the web, you do not need your own website.
Rule 2: If you think your website is going to magically do all of your advertising for you, you're on the high road to severe disappointment.

10:35AM: I take a break to get coffee from the local coffee house...
10:37AM: Customer calls my direct number (an annoyance in and of itself), hits my voicemail, hangs up...
10:38AM: Customer calls my direct number again, hits my voicemail, leaves a 2 second message consisting of her saying "uhhhhhh... hmm"...
10:40AM: Customer calls the technical support number, asks for me, is told I'm not available at the moment and asks to leave a voicemail, is tranferred to my voicemail where she leaves no relavent information whatsoever, then hits the "0" key to bail back into the support queue and asks for me again...
10:45AM: I return with my sweet nectar of caffeine in-hand...
10:46AM: I look at my "missed call" log and see same customer has called repeatedly; while taking a queue call, I listen to her desperate voicemail over my PC speakers...
10:47AM: I mute queue call I'm on with and begin laughing hysterically at the content of her voicemail; I'm not sure if the laughing was sympathy, or the nerve-racking fact that I still had to call her back...
10:50AM: Done with queue call, I call the customer back and get their answering machine; leave a message explaining that we, her webhost, are not the cause of her "device driver errors", and ask for more info as to her problem with "images that won't hold on" (her words)...
11:41AM: Customer, who still hasn't returned my phone call, drops by the office with her PC under one arm and asks for me; is told I'm on the phone, and she's more than welcome to wait until I'm done if she likes...
11:42AM: I begin swearing profusely as I'm reminded by the folks out front every 40 seconds that she's waiting to see me...
11:44AM: I go to see our prestigious customer, but find that she has departed and left behind her PC; I'm told she wants it fixed and will be back in an hour; I inform person up front that I'm leaving for an appointment in 15 minutes, and they shrug at me...
01:15PM: Return from appointment and picking up lunch; notice customer's machine with "we are too busy to get to this today" note attached to it is still sitting here in front of my desk; begin taking calls and ritualistically kicking her PC tower...
01:40PM: Customer shows up, and I'm on the phone again; someone else speaks with her and informs her that we are VERY busy, and she decides she's going to stay in the general area until it's fixed; hands other employee a note for me with her cell phone number and says to call ASAP...
02:01PM: Finished with inbound calls, I call her cell phone; no answer, leave a message stating that we're VERY busy today and I'm not sure when I can get to her computer...
02:45PM: Customer comes in and asks if her computer is done; makes a big scene because the unscheduled repair that we aren't supposed to do isn't done; comes in and sits down in front of my desk, continually interrupting my phone call with another customer...
02:50PM: Plugged a monitor, keyboard, mouse into customer PC; no "device driver" problems to be found; she proclaims, "I guess it only does it on my phone line"...
02:56PM: Taught customer how to select multiple items in a list...
03:01PM: Taught customer how to copy files to a folder...
03:04PM: Tried teaching customer how to click the "Submit" button on web forms in IE; customer complains that "this computer stuff is too complicated"...
03:56PM: Impossible to teach customer how to use our website builder app; seeing if this horrid pile of crap that she's building in Microsoft Greetings can just be exported to HTML...
04:04PM: After customer's insatiable desire to dink around in MS Greetings on my time, I find "Publish to Web" option...
04:07PM: That "Publish to Web" option seems to ignore the caps in my remote FTP path; customer asks why our "server won't support my Microsoft"; I ask what I did in a prior life to deserve this...
04:12PM: Set up a symbolic link server-side from "www" to her "WWW" folder, since this Microsoft program doesn't believe in case sensitivity (imagine that); proceeded to show customer how to use nearly every feature of the program she "knows really well"...
04:24PM: Customer wants to know why people can't type her email address into the IE address bar and get to her website; says it's too hard to find her website if people can't just put in her email address...
04:32PM: Customer finally leaves; will likely call again because she can't figure out how to click on the big, shiny "Publish to Web" icon...

Some days I really wish that I had never come into work...