Energy drinks are good. Breathing is for wimps.

[the-paco.livejournal.com]

Thank-you-for-calling-X-my-name-is-Paco-can-I-get-your-DSL-number-please.
"Hello?"
GIMMEYOURNUMBER! AH-screw-it-I'll-look-it-up-AH-here-it-is-I'll-put-it-in-the-system!OK-COOL-what-can-I-do-for-you!?
"Uh, I can't get on the internet."
OOOH-Goody-I-love-these-problems-I-already-ran-3-tests-on-your-modem-it's-running-fine-Restart-the-system!
"W-what?"
RESTARTTHESYSTEMDAMNYOU!
"Oh... ok, it's restarting. So where are you located?"
I'm-in-texas-where-it's-very-cold-for-us-today-and-I-get-really-lethargic-in-the-cold-so-I-decided-to-get-me-a-little-pick-me-up-and-I-bought-this-cool-drink-called-BAWLS-which-I-haven't-had-in-along-long-time-something-about-a-court-order-but-that-expired-so-I'm-cool-now-How-is-it-where-you-are?!
"Uh, it's nice. The computer restarted now. It seems to be working."
Wow-nice-isn't-it-anything-else-I-can-do-for-you?
"No... thanks."
Thanks-for-calling-X-goodbye*CLICK*wow-spiffy-1:30-that's-a-new-calltime-record.

*edit* Fine. All the delicate fears are catered to.