techrecovery | Oh dear god.

I think i have just recieved the dumbest Helpdesk call of all time.

User: I want to know if the machine next to the server will be effected by the software upgrade.
me: I informed the user that there was no computer next to the server as i was at the site just hours earlier working on the server.
User: Well there is a keyboard and mouse and monitor next to the server.
me: They belong to the server sir
User: Well will the machine be affected or not?
me: What machine?
User: The machine next to the server
me: What machine sir. The monitor, keyboard and mouse plug directly into the server.
User: So what are you saying?
me: The machine in question wont be effected by the software upgrade because as far as im aware it doesnt exist
User: Are you being smart with me?
me: Sir, i need your help. Can you go to the server for me?
User: Yes, just a moment....*on hold* Ok, what would you like me to do.
me: id like you to put your hand on the Case of the computer your talking about.
User: I cant find it
me: Ok well lets see where the cables for the monitor and keyboard go.
User: Just a moment..........*seriously long pause, im talkin minutes* Its plugging into the server.
me: Ok sir. As i stated earlier. I am unaware of there being any workstation/machines around the server area. Please give me a call if you happen to find it.
User: *realises he is an idiot* Sure no problem.
me: And just to recap, the machine wont be effected by the patch. Im relatively sure about that but if you want to make 100% sure you can call the software company and they might be able to help. Have a good day sir.
User: *hangs up*

Now it may not be exactly the same words but its basically the gist in terms of words exchanged.