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Sep. 13th, 2002 09:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chaobell posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
techrecovery*delurk*
Hi. I don't work in tech support as such, but I am a tech, and thus do get called upon to render aid to some seriously brain-cell challenged induhviduals.
Gem of the week:
Lady comes in. "I have an old computer. How do I put more bytes in it?"
Yellow alert! "I'm not sure what you mean by 'bytes.' Do you want a bigger hard drive? Y'know, where all your files and programs and things live?"
"I just want it to go faster. How much will it cost?"
Note: she does not have the computer there. "Well, I'd have to look at it to see what it'll take first..."
"It's a Hewart-Packer."
Red alert! "Unfortunately, that doesn't tell me much. I can tell you it's a minimum of $X, for the bench fee and the first half hour, and that's about what it'll take to see what you've got and what it can hold, and from there, what it'll cost to upgrade it."
"How much does it cost for more bytes?"
Honey, rephrasing the question will not change the answer. I repeat myself.
"So do I just need to bring the modem?"
"Uh...no, you need to bring the whole computer."
Blank stare. "What do you mean?"
Dear God. I pat a nearby tower. "This thing here."
"Right, the modem."
BATTLE STATIONS! "Actually, that's the computer. That's what we'll need."
"Will it cost more to put more bytes in that?"
The next few minutes between then and her departure are a blur now. I think I was mostly trying to restrain myself from laughing, weeping, banging my head against the wall, banging her head against the wall, or all of the above. And trying very hard not to burst forth with some tale about the current byte shortage, don't you know there's a war on, they've gone up to $5 a pound. Gawd.
Hi. I don't work in tech support as such, but I am a tech, and thus do get called upon to render aid to some seriously brain-cell challenged induhviduals.
Gem of the week:
Lady comes in. "I have an old computer. How do I put more bytes in it?"
Yellow alert! "I'm not sure what you mean by 'bytes.' Do you want a bigger hard drive? Y'know, where all your files and programs and things live?"
"I just want it to go faster. How much will it cost?"
Note: she does not have the computer there. "Well, I'd have to look at it to see what it'll take first..."
"It's a Hewart-Packer."
Red alert! "Unfortunately, that doesn't tell me much. I can tell you it's a minimum of $X, for the bench fee and the first half hour, and that's about what it'll take to see what you've got and what it can hold, and from there, what it'll cost to upgrade it."
"How much does it cost for more bytes?"
Honey, rephrasing the question will not change the answer. I repeat myself.
"So do I just need to bring the modem?"
"Uh...no, you need to bring the whole computer."
Blank stare. "What do you mean?"
Dear God. I pat a nearby tower. "This thing here."
"Right, the modem."
BATTLE STATIONS! "Actually, that's the computer. That's what we'll need."
"Will it cost more to put more bytes in that?"
The next few minutes between then and her departure are a blur now. I think I was mostly trying to restrain myself from laughing, weeping, banging my head against the wall, banging her head against the wall, or all of the above. And trying very hard not to burst forth with some tale about the current byte shortage, don't you know there's a war on, they've gone up to $5 a pound. Gawd.
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no subject
Date: 2002-09-13 08:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-09-15 01:31 pm (UTC)With your permission I will show this to my colleagues :-))
Weatherwax
no subject
Date: 2002-09-15 01:35 pm (UTC)hmmm
Date: 2002-09-16 10:48 am (UTC)"Well, we would procure more RAM for you, but 'we're at war'. That stuff is imported, so now it gets held up in customs, checked for terrorist viruses and stuff, you know...national security type stuff. I could tell you more, but then I'd have to kill you."