Future Darwin Award Winner- I Hope

[vir2allan.livejournal.com]

I had a caller that blew my mind tonight....
We'll call him Dumbass...

dumbass: Why isn't my DSL working yet? I ordered it 6 weeks ago...
me: Let me look...What is the phone # it is supposed to be on?
dumbass: 2#56#4#5#4... it's my cell phone.
me: [not sure i heard that right] ummmm... your cell phone?
dumbass: yes
me: okay... What is your HOME phone #?
dumbass: That IS my home phone... all i have is a cell, i don't have a land line.
me: You don't have regular telephone service at all?
dumbass: no, but i have all the wiring and jacks and stuff...
me: [sigh] you are going to have to get regular phone service for us to get the phone company to turn on DSL...
dumbass: no- you don't understand... i have all the stuff, i just don't have a dial tone, because i don't need it...
me: [beginning to bounce forehead off of keyboard]
me: sir, DSL is an additional service... it requires a working phone line...
dumbass: I don't understand.
me: Would it make sense for you to call the phone company and ask them to add Call Waiting, or Caller ID to a line that doesn't exist?
dumbass: Of course not!
me: [praying that he gets it] this is kind of like that....
dumbass: Oh.. Okay... Are you sure?
me: [choking down the rage] YES!
dumbass: Alright then... I guess i will call and cancel the DSL tomorrow.
dumbass: Could you help me set up my computer for Dial-up, then?
me: Do you have the connector and the driver software to connect your PC to your cell phone?
dumbass: No- i have the modem plugged into the wall jack.
me: (CLICK)

Then i climbed under my desk and wept...

Comments

[erratic0101.livejournal.com]

dumbass: "I want to blow dry my hair in the bathtub"
techsupport: "Sir, water and electrical appliances don't mix"
dumbass: "I don't understand."
techsupport: "Well, water conducts electricity"
dumbass: "Ok, then my blowdryer should work better, hold on lemme see..............."

[bookofnights.livejournal.com]

One of the guys at work made a test (in rebellion of the stupid/wrong/incorrect tests they were making us take at work). In it, selection d was always "hide under your desk and cry" :)

[bookofnights.livejournal.com]

lol!! One could only hope :)

[alacrity.livejournal.com]

You have to admit, it is pretty damn stupid that they require phone service to get DSL. I don't believe it is a technical requirement. And it is quite an inconvenience for some.

[vir2allan.livejournal.com]

Actually, it makes a lot of sense, given that the local telephone company has to rent the use of the line to the ILEC, or DSL vendor. if you don't pay the telephone company for the phone line, can you really expect them to spend $100 dollars on a technician to make the actual physical connections for the service? Not to mention the impossible task of referencing a phone line to a user without an identification number for the line...

Technically, you don't need a dial tone for the DSL to work, but you do need a local telephone company to handle the line, and any maintenance issues that arise... I'm sure that if you wanted to go through the expense and hassle of getting all the permissions necessary, and the considerable expense to run your own copper from the DSLAM card in the telco's CO to your house you could make it work. If having a phone line is an inconvenience, it's probably a good time to get a cable modem...