a REAL treat today!
Jun. 29th, 2004 03:04 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
valiskeogh.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
techrecoveryin honor of me soooon leaving the world of internet tech support, HUUUUrRRRRAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
going to give you guys a CLASSIC!!
two entries, xposted from my own journal:
EACH one of our tech support people have talked to pat MULTIPLE times and MOST have talked to her multiple times on the SAME issues. and... ladies and gentleman... when i talk about issues...
bill... me...![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shadowstitch... AND oddittninja have ALL gone over with her MANY TIMES allll about something you guys i'm sure are quite familiar with:
yes kids, the lowly @ symbol. she just can't seem to grasp it... i so wish i had the call recorded where i went over for FIVE FREAKING MINUTES IF NOT MORE with pat on the @ symbol, and i'm not talking complicated stuff like using it in a url, I'M TALKING ABOUT HOW TO TYPE IT ON THE KEYBOARD
how many times can you say or describe "hold down the shift key, press the number 2"?
trust me, MANY
and the best part?
i was the second person to attempt this, and was NOT THE LAST.
oh yes lil dearies! miss pat V is WELL known among our technical support staff. why? you'll find out for yourself, i have several of her calls, this is just a TASTE of the wonder that is pat. 2:11 long, catch the ending.
i really can't describe pat much more than... well... you'll just have to listen... and make sure you catch the ending...
memorable lines
"how many passwords can you have on your computa?"
"how many can you have on yahoo?"
fortunately, a lot of her calls revolve around things that we have no control over, mainly yahoo and msn messenger, and strange other computer related problems that stem from the fact that neither she, nor anyone in her family has one freaking clue how to operate it. so many times, when the call no longer amuses us, we can send her off with "you'll have to call yahoo" or my favorite "call microsoft". i'm actually glad i'm not on the technical support line for her brand of toaster. i'm sure they have some interesting calls as well. scary thing? they were having so many problems with their OLD computer, that a couple months ago she bought a NEW computer, and SUPRISE SUPRISE, STILL having problems!!! wonder why that is...
valis
EDIT:
i think i'm going to start calling her p@t ...
or maybe even p@
THE RETURN OF P@
yes dears, you remember when i first posted a p@ call?well guess what peeps, SHE CALLED AGAIN THAT EVENING. TWICE.
oh yes, and it was a DDOOOOOOOZZZYYYY, and NO, i almost did NOT retain my composure. that's right, VALIS ALMOST LOST IT ON THE PHONE!!!!
the entire call is 5:31 , i lasted till 4:20 (yeah, i know, and it's my bday!) before i almost broke COMPLETELY DOWN, you can tell this quite distinctly by me stopping, and being as quiet as i POSSIBLY can for a little while. i'm trying so desperately to hold in GUFFAWS of UPROARIOUS laughter.
now, she's not easy to understand at times, i REALLY dont know what's wrong with the woman... but in any case, it's probably best she not operate complex machinery, like computers, without supervision. or at all.
CLICK HERE FOR EPISODE 2 : P@ VS THE BLASTER VIRUS
TODAY'S PLOT:
let's have a contest:
WHO can tell me just HOW many times i try to spell avg antivirus, www.grisoft.com, and avg free edition to her?
and, WHO can tell me WHY someone WHO CANNOT READ wants to be on the internet? HOW can they actually USE it?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!??! this FLABBERGASTS me, completely, i'm at a total and complete loss...
This one is enough to chew on i think, for now, but it doesn't end here... oh no... not by a long shot... cause remember, *points to earlier in post* she called twice that evening... ;)
valis
do you guys now begin to realize what i'm up against?
ALL tech support calls are REAL, these are NOT actors! all calls have NOT been edited except where necessary to remove email addresses, customer names, and phone numbers. i sense the beginning of a wondermous website... all calls property of valis enterprises...
p.s. dont bother replying about how you think that posting calls is somehow "wrong". it's this, or go to the mall and fire at random large caliber weapons. plus, as you can see, i really dont care :)
going to give you guys a CLASSIC!!
two entries, xposted from my own journal:
EACH one of our tech support people have talked to pat MULTIPLE times and MOST have talked to her multiple times on the SAME issues. and... ladies and gentleman... when i talk about issues...
bill... me...
shadowstitch... AND oddittninja have ALL gone over with her MANY TIMES allll about something you guys i'm sure are quite familiar with:the @ symbol
yes kids, the lowly @ symbol. she just can't seem to grasp it... i so wish i had the call recorded where i went over for FIVE FREAKING MINUTES IF NOT MORE with pat on the @ symbol, and i'm not talking complicated stuff like using it in a url, I'M TALKING ABOUT HOW TO TYPE IT ON THE KEYBOARD
how many times can you say or describe "hold down the shift key, press the number 2"?
trust me, MANY
and the best part?
i was the second person to attempt this, and was NOT THE LAST.
oh yes lil dearies! miss pat V is WELL known among our technical support staff. why? you'll find out for yourself, i have several of her calls, this is just a TASTE of the wonder that is pat. 2:11 long, catch the ending.
i really can't describe pat much more than... well... you'll just have to listen... and make sure you catch the ending...
memorable lines
"how many passwords can you have on your computa?"
"how many can you have on yahoo?"
fortunately, a lot of her calls revolve around things that we have no control over, mainly yahoo and msn messenger, and strange other computer related problems that stem from the fact that neither she, nor anyone in her family has one freaking clue how to operate it. so many times, when the call no longer amuses us, we can send her off with "you'll have to call yahoo" or my favorite "call microsoft". i'm actually glad i'm not on the technical support line for her brand of toaster. i'm sure they have some interesting calls as well. scary thing? they were having so many problems with their OLD computer, that a couple months ago she bought a NEW computer, and SUPRISE SUPRISE, STILL having problems!!! wonder why that is...
valis
EDIT:
i think i'm going to start calling her p@t ...
or maybe even p@
THE RETURN OF P@
yes dears, you remember when i first posted a p@ call?well guess what peeps, SHE CALLED AGAIN THAT EVENING. TWICE.
oh yes, and it was a DDOOOOOOOZZZYYYY, and NO, i almost did NOT retain my composure. that's right, VALIS ALMOST LOST IT ON THE PHONE!!!!
the entire call is 5:31 , i lasted till 4:20 (yeah, i know, and it's my bday!) before i almost broke COMPLETELY DOWN, you can tell this quite distinctly by me stopping, and being as quiet as i POSSIBLY can for a little while. i'm trying so desperately to hold in GUFFAWS of UPROARIOUS laughter.
now, she's not easy to understand at times, i REALLY dont know what's wrong with the woman... but in any case, it's probably best she not operate complex machinery, like computers, without supervision. or at all.
TODAY'S PLOT:
P@ was having problems with her computer (can you imagine?) and so she took the computer back to the rent-to-own place (yeah, you read right) and had them clean the computer of some unnecessary programs and crap, of course, things she or her family put on it themselves...
she brings the computer home, and GUESS WHAT!!! SHE HAS THE BLASTER VIRUS!!!!
my reaction to realizing this, is evident. with anyone else, it's annoying, with her, it'd be impossible to guide her through the fix for it, GOD himself couldn't do it. trust me, i asked him, he didn't help.
so, i do (WHAT I THOUGHT) would be the easiest thing to do in this situation:
guide her to www.grisoft.com where she could download avg antivirus, a very good free antivirus package, that we reccomend up here all the time. simple eh?
THINK AGAIN.
let's have a contest:
WHO can tell me just HOW many times i try to spell avg antivirus, www.grisoft.com, and avg free edition to her?
and, WHO can tell me WHY someone WHO CANNOT READ wants to be on the internet? HOW can they actually USE it?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!??! this FLABBERGASTS me, completely, i'm at a total and complete loss...
- i should point out, that TECHNICALLY, virus's do NOT fall under the realm of our free internet technical support. no, we can't fix your computer if you do something stupid and click on an attachment that you shouldn't and fux your computer up. however, since blaster was so widespread, we did help out people on how to remove it. and of course, if i am having a slow evening, and there are no other calls, p@ is welcome :)
This one is enough to chew on i think, for now, but it doesn't end here... oh no... not by a long shot... cause remember, *points to earlier in post* she called twice that evening... ;)
valis
do you guys now begin to realize what i'm up against?
ALL tech support calls are REAL, these are NOT actors! all calls have NOT been edited except where necessary to remove email addresses, customer names, and phone numbers. i sense the beginning of a wondermous website... all calls property of valis enterprises...
p.s. dont bother replying about how you think that posting calls is somehow "wrong". it's this, or go to the mall and fire at random large caliber weapons. plus, as you can see, i really dont care :)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 01:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 04:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 02:38 pm (UTC)Makes supporting school kids seem so much easier.
This is the reason why we should force everyone to use Linux - and install it from scratch on their own -- survival of the fittest, idiots need not apply.
Damn Microsoft for making it so easy for people like that.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 03:03 pm (UTC)I'm beginning to wonder if that woman even graduated out of grade school...
_MaH
no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 04:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 04:03 pm (UTC)She sounds right up there with some of my clients.
PS - you've got a killer voice - sure she's not just calling to listen to you talk? ;)
no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 04:14 pm (UTC);)
no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 04:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 04:48 pm (UTC)and it's under our support too.
Val, I'll let you know if I ever encounter P@.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 04:49 pm (UTC)Except maybe norton/macafee.
And we all saw how well they did against the blaster/sasser epidemic.
"You've got the Blaster/Sasser."
"But I've got Norton!"
Last comment, I promise =/
Date: 2004-06-29 04:50 pm (UTC)I should post some of MY calls sometime...>=D
I'm trying to convince my old trainer to record me for training purposes..
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 02:44 am (UTC)'h as in hick'
'i as in intelligence - something you lack'
't as in ... uh, you should know what a t is'
no subject
Date: 2004-06-29 07:41 pm (UTC)I'd have told her to fuck off.
Blaster huh? That's a real shame. You'll need to download a removal tool from somewhere, then run a windows update... if this is too difficult, you'll need to speak to your local tech.
I love the Blaster worm now. It's like a happy little present for us techs whenever a new, moronic, customer just gets on line.
Oh, I'm sorry, you're infected.
But I just got on the internet!
EXACTLY!
no subject
Date: 2004-06-30 01:08 am (UTC)Well I don't know I guess it's prejudice but hearing people talk deep southern accent makes me doubt their mental abilities.
I mean I'm a Swede and I know how to enunciate.
Swallowing half the word makes you sound like a retard.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-30 10:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-01 11:04 am (UTC)This woman was allowed to breed? Now I don't feel too bad about the students and instructors I have to support around here.
You poor schmuck. At least you're out of it now.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 10:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 02:45 am (UTC)