techrecovery | here you go guys! hope you liked the last ones, cause i got bunches more... (Reply)

here we go again fellers!!!
xposted from old posts in my own journal, here we have REAL, LIVE, UNEDITED (except to remove identifying information) INTERNET TECH SUPPORT CALLS!

THIS is one of those calls i HAD to record at the very first sentance that was spoken.
here is EXACTLY what happened just before i hit "RECORD".

me : "tech support, how can i help you?"
him : "How can i get to my Start Menu?"
me : silence....... "can you hold on for just one minute?"
him : "oh, okay"
me : put's him on hold, hits RECORD, takes sip of coffee, takes deep breath, goes back to call

HEAR THE REST OF THIS REAL, UNEDITED TECH SUPPORT CALL!
then with a GLEAM IN MY EYE and a BROAD smile on my face i ask "ookay... what was your question again?" and say it NICE AND LOUD for me, that's a good boy.
you can hear me typing during this, dont remember what i was doing...
(btw, i know EXACTLY how to keep msn from starting up at start up, but the process, if messenger is not in the startup folder (and sometimes even if it is), involves editing the registry, and like HELL am i even attempting to walk anyone through THAT. that does NOT fall under my roll of "internet" tech support anyhow. i actually didn't have to take this call at all, this one was purely for my, and your, enjoyment)

valis
fast becoming the BOFH

click HERE to listen to the latest REAL TECH SUPPORT CALL!!

what can we learn from this tech support call?

THIS is why the simplest of things take absolutely forever

you can NOT have windows 98 AND windows ME AT THE SAME TIME.

the speed of the internet has NO BEARING WHATSOEVER on the speed of your computer, ESPECIALLY if you aren't even CONNECTED to the internet

"my daughters picture" is NOT a valid answer to the question "what do you see on the screen?"

sometimes, valis feels it's necessary to say "you'll have to hang up with me, but DONT DO THAT YET..."

THESE are the calls that have me ready to do harm to small furry creatures.

if you take 5 minutes to click on three things, something a normal person can do in roughly 4 seconds, the tech support person will hate you. no if's ands or but's.

memorable valis lines from this call: