Jobs!

[kizayaen.livejournal.com]

For any of you overqualified people stuck on a tier 1 helpdesk making beans:

Two, and possibly three, graveyard shift NOC operator openings with my company working four 10-hour shifts in Seattle. Duties will include mainly Windows server and network administration and troubleshooting for a 24-7-365 global ecommerce company you've almost certainly heard of -- looking to break a billion dollars in revenue this year. Salary will probably be in the $28/hr range -- I'm not involved in the actual hiring process and can't confirm that for absolutesure. Benefits are pretty standardish for IT work. I got the job without certs or a degree, so that's at least potentially feasible.

If this sounds of interest to you, you can send resumes or questions to my livejournal email address.

EDIT: Almost forgot to add, there is a 0% chance of working from home.

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Work, Part 5

[delta_mike]

(Previously. Recap: University sysadmin.)

• Install signs of any description next to the building's motorized rotating doors.
• ... Especially labels that read, "It is perfectly safe to walk through this device."
• ... Especially when the label can only be read after stepping inside.
• Grief the undergraduates on the Minecraft server they're running on one of the Departmental interactive shell machines.
• Maintain a list of things that ${BOSS_SYSADMIN} is not allowed to do at work.
• Violate Eschaton Clause Three.
• Make clear that when I'm talking about simple alternatives to manipulating git history, that I'm referring to the revision control tools of that name, rather than the Helpdesk manager.
• "I am altering your disk quota. Pray I do not alter it any further."
• Answer queries of the form "What am I doing wrong?" with the response, "Would you like an enumerated list?"
• I shall not refer to the handcrank used for locking / unlocking room partitions as the Education Stick.
• Zero /etc/passwd on a clueless user's computer so that they can't log in -- causing the console to print "You don't exist. Go away." when they try to reboot via CTRL-ALT-DEL...
• Unload a CO2 fire-extinguisher on people standing next to a 'No Smoking' sign while puffing on a cigarette.
• Use the Justice Field episode of Red Dwarf as a model for how best to educate / punish users that try to do evil things. Such as wipe another user's home directory..
• Configure my workstation to run interesting screensavers with a short time-out, as they may have the effect of diverting the attention of senior members of the department when they stop by my desk to talk to me.
• ... or get them to sign-off on pay-rises or changes in effective responsibility while they're cognitively distracted.
• ... Also, stop trying to take over Security operations. We said 'no'.

(Continued!)