I had to take a day to recover from this.

[tauren-wardrums.livejournal.com]

This is honestly not the worst thing that happens to me. But it's starting to happen with greater and greater frequency. Sometimes I wonder if this town is technologically cursed.

Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking when they ask me to do certain things. It's like I'm suddenly an avatar of God, being asked to perform a miracle that, by all rights, should not exist.

Seriously, I can't do the impossible. Despite whatever may be going on in their tiny little brain-nuggets, I'm most likely NOT a deity. I can pray to Cthulhu, but I really don't see him helping me bring a PC back to life. And praying to Joe Pesci will only get the machine broken with a baseball bat. Bad idea.

But the fact that I've had better luck animating rubber chickens doesn't seem to sway these people. They still want the impossible:

Guy on the phone: Yeah, can you recover all the e-mails I've lost?
Me: Um...like, from your deleted items folder?
Guy: No, like, they're suddenly gone and I want 'em back.
Me: Uh...bring it in.
(guy brings in machine)
(begin work order)
(two days pass)
(call customer)
(customer comes in)
Me: So you have a virtual inbox.
Guy: What's that mean?
Me: I don't know; I didn't put it there. But there's the folder right there. (points out Virtual Inbox folder) See?
Guy: Oh yeah. Well what about my e-mails? There should be some pictures from $name.
Me: You mean these? (pulls up regular inbox, finds 93 unread messages)
Guy: Yeah, those're them. How'd you do that?
Me: I, um...went to your inbox.
(pull up new message with photo attachment, server connection cuts off)
(pull up old message with photo attachment, message loads)
Me: It's something on their end. Nothing I can do here.
Guy: Well, can you get the pictures back?
Me: Um. No. I just said there's nothing I can do here. Getting pictures back is a thing, which I can't do here. It's on their end.
Guy: Oh. Well I'm so stupid I don't know how to do it. I'm computer illiterate...(proceeds to tell me his goddamn life story)
(half an hour later...)
Me: Okay, thank you.
(guy leaves, thank the gods)

Seriously, dude. I'm not God. I'm a bench tech at a local computer repair shop. If I have any sort of awesome powers of doom, it certainly won't help me get back the e-mails that you're too inept to take care of. Fucking educate yourself. Google it. Don't stand there and tell me you're stupid when I fucking tell you how to use the world's easiest search engine.

Fuck's sake.

(no subject)

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Jesus buttfucking christ, he's at it again!

Um, what?

[tanamiya.livejournal.com]

Okay, so the hinge fell off of your Sony laptop. It sucks. You wanted $retailer to send it out to Sony for you, despite the fact that $retailer is not well equipped to handle Sony's repairs, and despite the fact we quoted you a six week turnaround time, and despite the fact we told you Sony's customer service is much, much better if you deal with them directly. "I bought your $extended_warranty," you say, "so $retailer ought to fix it!" Your logic is impeccable, sir. Still, at your insistence, we sent your laptop out from the retail store, to the repair depot, to the outflow department, to Sony. Sony calls you and deems the unit physically damaged. You refuse the repair, have Sony send it back to our outflow department, to our repair depot, and finally to our retail store. And called us every. Single. Day. For the last three weeks. Asking if the laptop had returned. After we assured you we could call you when the laptop had come back. Clearly you have shown us that you are truly a paragon of logic and intelligence.

I really shouldn't have been surprised to see you back four months later. It looks like you got your hinge fixed. And now you're flashing me a piece of paper with barely intelligible words that are supposed to translate to, "I talked to Customer Service, and they're going to give me a new laptop." Because it makes sense to pay to have the laptop fixed right before you decide you don't want it anymore. Okay.

So I tell you this isn't something I can take care of -- I fix computers, not exchange them -- and in-store Customer Service directed you to my counter and you absolutely refuse to go back where you're supposed to be -- I let you know I'm calling in the manager to take care of things. I really shouldn't have been surprised that you'd blow up at me upon hearing that the manager will take two minutes to come to my tech counter. You started screaming that this was six months in the coming, and that waiting two minutes for a manager is unacceptable? I'm sorry you're frustrated by the situation, since human logic is clearly above you, but the manager hasn't quite gotten the knack of teleportation down just yet. He's working on it. Honest.

I'm thankful our tech room has a mini-fridge. I'm starting to think that Dr. Pepper isn't what I need to be stocking.