(no subject)

[red-scully.livejournal.com]

Dear Apple Mac User,

I've been trying to solve your possibly-network-related issue for over a month now, despite the fact that I know jack about apple macs and have been receiving absolutely no support from my team or my 'manager'.  You have been nice as pie about all the delays related to the ticket, which  I appreciate.  Every time I've visited you, you've started to show me the problem, as if for the first time, and have then started to talk to me in a fair amount of detail about how you think the issue is with either the firewall or the proxy.

I have agreed the proxy isprobably the issue.  As a result of you providing me with an explanation which fits my theory, I made the (stupid) deduction that you knew what you were talking about, at least up to a point.  That's why, yesterday, when I was monitoring your network with a sniffer, I was happy for you to look at the results with me.  You made 'ooh' and 'aahh' noises at roughly the right places and everything.

So explain to me, then, WTF this moment of genius was:

"But if the proxy - but if the - that packet - why is the proxy - but surely the proxy doesn't - ...
...

what is a proxy server?"


At that moment I literally wanted to flatten you.

You then proceeded to be surprised when I unplugged your network lead, because you lost your internet connection.  You asked me why this was.  I said, "Um, because you're no longer connected to the network..." and you demanded to know how this was related to the internet.

I've learned my lesson: NEVER GIVE ANY USER ANY CREDIBILITY EVER AGAIN.

Problem still isn't solved, and I no longer like you.

No love at all,

red_scully 

No you aren't special

[octavia-hemahi.livejournal.com]

I work at a telco company. We sell voips. As you know you can take the voip ANYWHERE where there is a good stable internet connect and 9/10 it works.

So this cust calls in and he tells me he is getting dropped calls on the voip.

Me: Okay sir, whats your number.

Cust: ###-###-####

Me: Okay after looking at your account I can see that you are having port blocking issues on the voip. Its giving me a strange port number. Not the usual 5060. You need to go into your router and open those ports.

Cust: I can't do that, I am plugged into a wall.

Me: What do you mean? Like a Magic Jack, cause that isn't supported, so thats also a problem.

Cust: No, no I am at a hotel in Pickle, TX.

Me: Oh! Then your problem is the hotel's security. Sadly, I don't think they will change their firewall settings for you. (Most hotels will not go in there and change their settings for one cust to use a telephone. I mean thats alot of work for just one person) So at this point there isn't anything we can do for you. Its a port blocking issue and the only ones who can make the changes is the Hotel's Network Maint.

Cust: Why not? I'm paying for a room!

Me: You can ask them sir, but honestly I don't believe they will.

Cust: I'm SPECIAL I AM A REP! I DESERVE TO USE MY VOIP!

Me: Okay sir thats fine, but you will need to take it up with the hotel. Ask them to open ports 5060-5075.

Cust: I'll do that! And you will SEE BECAUSE OF HOW SPECIAL I AM THEY WILL DO IT FOR ME!

Me: Yes sir, thank you for call.

----

Special as in Short bus Special.