When you Least Suspect It

[tecknow.livejournal.com]

On Christmas Eve I was rolling along on an Amtrak train and I came back to my seat from the lounge car to find an old man who had been annoying me the entire trip hovering around the strangely open door to our lower-level compartment in that special way that says "I totally broke this." As soon as I am in range he says "Do you know anything about fixing these trains? You've got to use this switch to close the door but it's not working!"

No, I don't know anything about fixing trains. But I'm under 35 and over 10 so obviously I can fix anything anybody outside that category doesn't understand, right?

Do you know automatic doors often have a switch that can be used to fix the doors in the open position? Train compartment doors have a similar switch. As far as I can tell the man had seen the conductor hit this switch while loading our bags and decided that was the normal way of using the door, the two huge buttons on the door labeled "PUSH" obviously being a trap for idiots who don't know the "secret."

The doors are pneumatic, notoriously fussy, and I'm not sure what happens if you flip the "Open/Normal Operation" switch repeatedly while the door is closed, but I bet I just found out.

The old man tugged on the conductor's uniform during a station stop to ask for help with the still-broken door, and when the conductor said "I'll have to help you after I unload these people," his wife said "That conductor thinks he's just so important."