Snip from an e-mail that had me lol-ing:

[demented-pants.livejournal.com]

Search query: Is Microsoft Home Vista compatible to Windows XP?
Problem summary: Microsoft Windows Home Vista

Problem description: How to I achieve Windows XP? Is the Home Vista version able to have Window XP?

(no subject)

[lolotehe]

AOL is not the internet. Do not pretend it is.
AOL is the internet as much as a kiddie pool is the Pacific Ocean.

minor yay

[donnaidh-sidhe.livejournal.com]

I really do like taking tech support calls from army bases. In contrast to the majority of my other calls, the people who call me from there understand my instructions the first time I issue them, confirm all instructions when I make them, and follow said instructions. They're almost invariably good-natured as well -- it's pretty amazing if you ask me. It's so very pleasant.

Plus, hearing, "Yes, ma'am," from a young man is a good way to hit my buttons. :D

(no subject)

[boogara.livejournal.com]

Okay, can we stop acting like 4chan please? It's been made clear time & time again that I'm in the wrong here...

This one's short, but still gets to me A LOT.

So, at my job, we handle dealer and supplier calls as well as x employee calls as well.

To make this short and sweet...

Dear People-From-Non-English-Speaking-English-Country,

You speak English. If you can't understand me when I say "S for Sam", don't yell into the phone. Don't get pissy either because you tell me on more than one occasion you can't hear me, so I figure speaking louder towards you would rectify the issue. Also, when I tell you that a particular ID I need from you is the ID you use to log into the x computer, don't continue to give me a website ID. Website != computer, thank you. One last thing...when I ask you to spell your ID/name/whatever phonetically, I mean to spell it phonetically...not like you're on speed or again in the fashion where I did not understand you the first time.

Your soon to be unemployed support

P.S.: If you're wondering 'bout the whole "Dear..." line, it's simple. Zed is not Z. Zed is a word, not a letter. Just like how "u" is not a word, but a letter. A is not the same as I. If you don't know a word for any of the letters in the alphabet, go back to pre-school, please.