CATEGORY FIVE...

[cjkline83.livejournal.com]

Its not that hard, is it? You hire an electrician to do your wiring for a new business you're opening up, and you ask us, your POS dealer, what kind of cable to run for your communication lines. We advise you to run CAT-5 cable. Its an industry standard. Has been since right after the days of Thin Net and 10Base Cat 3.

So, why then, would your electrician ask you to ask us HOW MANY CONDUCTORS WE NEED IN THE CAT 5 CABLE?

Here, let me make it simple.

all of them

.

I then proceed to read from Wikipedia about category five cable and he takes notes...
Four twisted pair, eight conductor cable in the following color pairs:
White Blue/Blue
White Orange/Orange
White Green/Green
White Blue/Blue

*groan*

You win at the Least Likely To Not Be A Complete Fucking Douche competition

[toxico.livejournal.com]

A note to end users:

When I have contacted you stating that I will be running a job on your workstation, and you have agreed to this and even suggested a time to do so (which I incidentally agreed to), holding down the power button to shut off the machine in the middle of said job and then calling someone ELSE to come ask me if I want to keep working on it is, in essence, the equivalent of test-driving a car, scraping it along a center divider and demanding a lower price because the vehicle is damaged.

That deadline you had to meet by the end of today? Yep; you're boned, because this will take the rest of the day since I have to start over now. Additionally, I assume no responsibility for the sudden and spontaneous appearance of the word "shutdown" in your login script, and this can in no way be considered an act of retaliation.

I feel so dirty....

[hisamishness.livejournal.com]

I'm installing aol 9 on my spare work system as I speak.

Really - I would never do this of my own volition.. HONEST!

I just have to have it so I can get their account manager training tomorrow. Ick. Anyone have any soap or alcohol wipes handy?

I have to keep reminding myself of 'The Dark Days', when it was decided On High that we would scrap our Exchange infrastructure and run internally on the aol product. I'm SOOOO glad that decision was scrapped.

toilet paper....on the FLOOR?

[lolotehe]

In response to an earlier post--or at least, the responses to that post--I have a loverly story to share from the last company I did phone support for.

This happened back in nineteen (mumble mumble) when a computer mouse still had a ball. The company in question occupied the 4th through 7th floors of a rather large building that also housed a bank.

One night, someone took all the mouse balls from two floors and flushed them down a toilet. This caused the toilet to backup and overflow and the water ran down the hall into an electrical closet, which just happened to be over an electrical closet, which just happened to be over an electrical closet...

...and shorted out the entire building.

After the mouse ball incident, you had to sign out a ball for your mouse when you came into work. This had to be returned at the end of your shift and you signed the mouse back in.

---

Not to be outdone, here's another mouse story:

In a hospital I worked for, we had a large community of nurses from the Philippines. Our administrative director (the only member of admin who really did anything over there) set them up with a computer, DSL, and Skype so they could stay in communication with their families back home.

One of the nurses called me one day and said the mouse had gone bad. I told her to bring me the bad one and I'd give her a replacement.

One the way out for a smoke, I met the nurse in the hallway. She said they'd picked up a new mouse already, so I didn't need to give them a new one, but here was the old one because I had asked for it. At this, she handed me a plastic grocery bag with the mouse in it. I took the mouse and continued to the smoking porch...

Where someone asked me what was in the bag. "Dead mouse," I said.

And everyone gave me the weirdest look.