First post

[sessifet25.livejournal.com]

Posted this in my own LJ, and someone suggested I post it here as well. Seeing I've been enjoying reading this community for a few a while now, I thought it's time to give something back.

(Background: Moved to the UK about six months ago from The Netherlands. Had done various tech support jobs there, and ended up interviewing for internal helpdesk for $BigCorporation here. Got the job and I now spend 40 hours a week speaking Dutch on the phones. Go figure.)

Weirdly enough, the below list of 'rules' have only been in place since the outsourcing really got going. As of July 1st, I'll no longer be directly contracted by $BigCorporation, but by $OtherBigCorporation, which in turn has recently merged with a certain computer manufacturer which shall remain nameless. (I'm sure people here can figure it out.)

And now, without further ado:

Things I should and shouldn't do at the helpdesk

( Cut for list... )

Dear Customer

[awarrenfells.livejournal.com]

When you call me for troubleshooting, and I tell you that you are having an issue with your network card, as opposed to our modem, please do not start arguing with me because "it's a brand new computer" and "there is no way the computer is having an issue." Also, please do not argue with me and presume to know more than me about what our modem is doing than you do. If you are so gorram technically literate, or knowledgeable about our proprietary technology, then why in the hell did you waste my time by calling me in the first place.

Please, go die in a fire....

... and take your modem with you.

Your technical support representative.

maybe I should use some "keywords".

[trayce.livejournal.com]

I'm doing a highspeed order for a very large business client and my boss is trying to get me to escalate it and bring the date forwards (we didn't give it anywhere near enough lead time but thats another story)

Anyway, the response from the DSL carrier amused me:


Barring unforeseen circumstances order is still ok for 04/07.
An earlier date is not possible without an escalation. The escalation criteria is medical reasons or national security.
Please advise if your customer meets either criteria. Documentation is required, many thanks.


How... interesting!