It's Nacho Job (once again)

[ptstech.livejournal.com]

It's Nacho Job...

to regale me with the wonders of BitTorrent
to attempt to tell me that there's nothing wrong with trying to run it on our network
to claim that you need it for accessing "work-related content" when I'm WATCHING you watch Xena: Warrior Princess clips
to insist that you know more about it than I do because your bff Jill said so
to ask to speak with "an admin" to get a real answer (hey Sparky - I AM an admin, and I said NO!)

This one's only been here a week - and is begging for the F.O.A.D. already...

(x-posted to TSC and my LJ)

Snarky

[ravenofdreams.livejournal.com]

Got  a machine in yesterday to clean off and return.  Ticket said only "Has 'Windows' spyware infection.'  As it turns out, what that meant was the XP Antivirus infection - but if I just read it straight, sometimes that can sum up my whole day....

maybe OT: looking for "work f*ing sucks" icon

[valancy17.livejournal.com]

anyone out there have a source for (or have yourself) a "work f****ing sucks!" type icon? I desperately need one. Thx in advance.

(no subject)

[mouser.livejournal.com]

ME: Systems Manager for a resort.
DB: Mumbling scammer

*ring**ring**ring*

ME: "I.T. This is mousesr

Glance at caller ID. What is 604-550-7000?

DB: "Hi, this is DoucheBag at *mumble*! I just need to verify a few things about your computers there!"

*warning bell*

ME: I'm sorry, who were you with?

DB: I just need to know a few things about your computer systems!

*Sound of knowledge base slamming firmly shut*

ME: What was the name of your company again?

DB: Oh, it was *barely hear it but not one we deal with*! I'm not trying to sell you anything...

Yah! I get to be rude as hell! Too bad I only have a few minutes until I have to go hit a user fix a desktop.

The next few minutes are me trying to get him to admit its a sales call, and him not even getting to ask ANYTHING about our setup. Alas, my time is short and eventually I have to just hang up on him...

Dear Mr. "The Rules Do Not Apply To Me":

[laptop-mechanic.livejournal.com]

Dear Tenured Professor Jackass McAsshat:

We have a 48 hour turnaround for evaluation in this shop. You were told this at check-in. And you obviously didn't like that answer, so you somehow managed to browbeat our student worker into promising you your part would be ordered this afternoon. I understand You Are An Important and Very Busy Person, and that you're leaving on a trip later this week. But there are people here who have had their equipment in longer, and they come first. You're the clumsy git who managed to snap the drive tray clean off his optical drive 2 days before leaving town. I have no sympathy for you, and the "fix it right now you ignorant knuckledragger" attitude is not helping your position any at all. The number of initials you have after your name does not impress me in the slightest.

By rights, I ought to make you wait the full 48 hours, just on general principles. However, its far easier to shut you up this time and get you out of my hair, so thats what I'm going to do. Right after I skin the student worker you browbeat alive for bowing to your pressure.

pursuant to RCW 9A.16.050...

[heinousbitca.livejournal.com]

we have some interesting end-users.

this gentleman wants us to write him a custom contract over one license worth of our product. (while what we sell matters not, it's a piece of software that runs $300 or so for a single user license.)

he wants us to guarantee all sorts of crap that i can't (um, you can't embed fonts in Excel in an .xls, and you can't call a DLL in your machine's SYSTEM32 folder from a remote computer, etc...really simple basic things) and he gets very ishy when i explain these things. to make it even more fun, he keeps trying to slip things past me. um, dude, i'm a paralegal. somehow, you probably might want to consider my massive legal foo is going to trump your pathetic attempts to change our EULA.

so what does he do? he sends me his "proposal" and copies like 35 people, including technical support for at least four companies whose software he already uses who aren't, you know, us. i think they're having a good laugh; i replied in my nicest, most polite "drop dead" tone but alas and alack he seems to be too dumb to understand that i am sick of blowing 90 minutes on the phone for $300 from a man too socially retarded and cowardly to take an ounce of personal responsibility. we're pretty rational; we frequently give people who are too stupid to survive their money back because they can't use our software, and we're pretty well-loved by most of our end-users. it's the 10%, the habitual support bed-wetters...they make it suck.

oh yeah and he still hasn't bought our software. he wants a free demo copy which "must be unrestricted and unlocked." well, i want free Bushmills. there's been a lot of whining about wanting free shit (and yet expecting me to support it 24/7, all one of me) lately. the fact that we answer the phone does not change the dynamic, sir, and no, sir, there's nobody here "more technical" than i. go ahead, ask about that free demo copy again.

one week to vacation...when i get to go home and have my entire bloody extended family hand me their computers and expect me to solve all their problems. i need that shot of Bushmills now, please.

Interesting to consider

[jjjiii]

There's no I in TEAM, but there is an I in SICK.

Please Kill Me

[cjkline83.livejournal.com]

I received this call about 4pm. Arrived onsite at around 6pm. Its a Micros Eclipse (3700) terminal that was having IP issues. Arrive on site and find out that all 7 com ports have Yellow Exclaimation points over them and Windows can not start these devices. So... I try to ghost across the network. That shit's not happening.

Go back to the office and grab a good machine and return to site circa 9pm. I'm still here, still trying to ghost; this time disk to disk.

When what to my tired eyes should appear but a shitfit from Ghost about bad blocks on the source drive.

Cross your fingers for me and hope I can clone this without images.

"You're my only hope..."

I repeat: fucking Micros.