1:15?

[superbus.livejournal.com]

Customer calls in.

Customer is asked by our help desk guy if his issue - unable to access some DMZ host from his internal network - can wait until the morning shift starts... oh, in six hours.

Customer gives help desk guy attitude (and help desk guy is very good at his job).

Help desk guy has no choice but to escalate issue to me.

I inform the customer that the issue is on his side. I do not inform him that he's fucking retarded.

He tells me if he has another issue he's going to call back, while chiding the fact that he had to wait 15 minutes (for me to speak to help desk, log in, wake up, etc.)

I inform him that our regular shift starts in six hours, and that he might get better service when he's not waking us up.

He gives ME attitude, letting me know that he's the customer, and he will wake us up if he damn well pleases. He also informs me that since he can see my phone number on his caller ID, he'll be calling me directly.



I do not inform the customer that the switch that handles my VoIP line is now disconnected until tomorrow morning.

Dear HP:

[laptop-mechanic.livejournal.com]

Dear HP:

I am refusing to support or service any of your Pavilion DV series notebooks from this day forth, as they are made of suck and fail.  I hope your entire Pavilion design team dies in a fire screaming like a bunch of little girls, as anybody who does this kind of design work does not deserve to draw breath.

Get a clue you ignorant fsckers.

--laptop_mechanic

To anybody who made the mistake of paying money for one of these: Ick. Hope you make a better informed decision next time.

This message brought to you by the dv2110 I've been fighting with for the last week.

Is today WTF monday?

[arinoch.livejournal.com]

Dear customer 1: If you want me to fix your computer so you can stop wasting your time dealing with the issue, stop wasting mine. Interupting me every minute or so to continue venting at me about how it's already taken you 5 days to fix your system is *not* going to make it get done any faster. You need to get a clue now, kthx.

Dear customer 2: I'd love to be able to tell you if your system has shipped yet. But you need to work with me a little. Don't be a dipshit when I ask you for something basic like, you know, your order number. I hate you already and it's been 2 minutes.

PS: Who calls a doctor to order a computer system anyway? I can has explanations plz?

The reverse problem.

[krank-kether.livejournal.com]

I know I can't be the only one who thinks this way...

Working on a service desk like I do, I tend to find that if I have to call for support for oh, I don't know, cable TV or a blender or what have you, I expect the service to be up to my own standards. I really have to not think that anymore since after dealing with the illustrious Comcast, I've been given the runaround twice in one weekend. I know they're huge and evil, but what the hell happened to accountability?

Tell me someone else thinks that other service desks/helpdesks/support lines should actually do their jobs. And I know there are a ton of arguments (they were outsourced to Timbuktu, they get paid crap, they hire martians, etc) but please, standards!

Apologies if this isn't quite what the mods intended but it does deal with support. Feel free to take away my birthday if it's an unacceptable post; I'm old enough already.

You want me to what????

[pfloyd.livejournal.com]

Dear Valued Customer,

You want me to do the following...
Change the hostnames on two PTR records. Fine, that's no problem
Change the MX records on... get this... 50+ domains for customers of yours????????????????????? WtF???????????????

Mind you, to do this, I have to:
Load and access each domain's zone file...
Copy the current zone file and paste into the ticket...
Access the page where I can make the changes...
Make the changes...
Save the changes...
Copy the new zone file and paste it into the ticket...
Lather, rinse, repeat...

Seeing as how the domain zone file database (being web-based) takes approx 20-30 seconds to load each page, 5 seconds for each copy and paste, another 10 seconds to make the changes (two MX records per zone file)... we're talking roughly five minutes (give or take) per domain.

And, of course, I get handed this fifteen minutes before shift end, too... and I was on the phone with the customer for 20 minutes BEFORE I could start any changes.

No, there's no feasible way to do it as a bulk change, because most of the domains don't have their MX records fitting a similar across-the-board pattern.
This is the way I have to do it. I'm already approaching two hours of overtime on this, for which I am grateful, but I would like to be able to see my son for a little while before his bedtime, and at this rate (I'm only 2/3 of the way done, and the database is now crawling, adding about another 50-60% onto the time it takes), I won't be able to do so. Not to mention the miniscule migraine that's already creeping in, and the fact that it's nearly 100 degrees in my cube (the AC doesn't work so well around me) and all I've had to eat since 9pm last night are two pop tarts, a small bowl of cheese puffs and a package of ramen, I'm quite starved and would like to go home, get food down my neck so I can do the Tylenol/ibuprofen/Jim Beam and vanilla Coke combo so that I can try to forget you made me do this and get some sleep.

Thank you very much for putting a complete damper on my good mood and a good evening.

No love,
pfloyd

PS: DiaF. Please.

Repost from my own LJ - Porter Arrows

[poly-scott.livejournal.com]

So, I used to run the help-desk at work, and like most help-desk people, I dealt with mind-numbing stupidity on an hourly basis. One such memorable ticket, said "there are arrows in the porter" and nothing else. That was it! Just "there are arrows in the porter". I had visions of some poor dead bellhop, a mad archer dancing across the roof tops, merrily laughing at his latest kill.

So, we have an internal application that the reps use called "portal". After thinking of our dear mad archer, I replied back, "Do you mean, 'Portal'?"

 "Yes!" Came the indignant reply. The nerve, asking for some kind of confirmation, I guess.

So, this became short hand. Whenever I had to hand someone something really, obnoxiously stupid, I'd warn them first, "Dude - porter arrows." That way, they'd know...

( Read more... )