Programmer?

[anivair.livejournal.com]

So a Programmer (A PROGRAMMER!) from a regional hospital which shall remain nameless just sent me the following:

"It seems like we always have issues processing the return file from you every month. Today's issue is that the file is pipe (|) delimited instead of comma delimited. That is a major change to the file.

I cannot process the file in this format. Please fix the file, resubmit to the ftp site, and notify me when this is resolved."

okay, problem 1. I know what a pipe looks like. Problem 2. Can you not replace the pipe's with commas? Also, the file is fixed format. They shouldn't be using delimiters to begin with.

but then she sends me this jewel:

"will you please send me all your information on ftp connection to your site. Maybe the issue is with the connection."

Really? Out ftp connection might have snuck in and replaced most of the commas with pipes, but left all the other text and formatting intact? You're fired.

Wow. just wow.

hitler plays Bill Gates

[slayne-souls.livejournal.com]

Next time I'm using a claw hammer, I swear to g0d

[syberghost.livejournal.com]

developer: "On server foo, please create a new filesystem /opt/bar_5, the same size as /opt/bar".

me: "/opt/bar isn't a filesystem, it's just a directory on /opt. How large do you need the new filesystem to be?"

developer: "The same size as /opt/bar".

Email is clearly not working; I need to engrave the text into the face of a hammer, and beat it into their foreheads, so they can read it in their monitor mirrors.

lolcat tech support

[glitteringlynx.livejournal.com]

Posted on a friends' LJ. Figured I'd share b/c I'm sure so many of us can relate....