why do i bother to help people?

[heinousbitca.livejournal.com]

so friday was busy, always a very bad sign. i ended up being nicer than usual in assisting an end-user who was very new to using our software and had a few problems understanding how Adobe product (in other words, not our stuff) works. i decided, bravely, to offer a few tips.

now, of course, she's pissed to all hell because though i gave her sizing guidelines for our product's output that it "should be smaller." hint: we make scannable fonts. why the sam hell are you trying to make it smaller when it's critical that customers be able to scan it?

apparently she broke down crying on the phone with my cow-orker because she "needs more help." of course i call her back and the question has nothing to do with our software and then she starts whining that she wants to make the scannable item smaller. i said the same thing on friday: you can do it but it's not my dog if they don't scan after reducing the output smaller than suggested. on the bright side she didn't cry, the most nasty, passive-aggressive thing an end-user can do without whining to your boss about what a degenerate horror you are. also she emails things and wants a call back when i could just as easily explain it via email but apparently it's more important to interrupt me 16 times when i call back.

i need to be a bigger bitch, i see.

HP CSN: Our Ability to Suck Knows No Bounds.

[laptop-mechanic.livejournal.com]

So we do warranty repairs on buisness line models from HP/Compaq. All our claims processing must be done through their CSN website. This website was apparently coded by a squadron of LSD tripping monkeys. The website requires an ActiveX control to work, so is usable with IE only. The website frequently refuses to load at all and there is a blinding array of tabs and fields to navigate, and the information is not laid out in anything remotely resembling a clear, concise manner. Each claim has certain bits of information that are required before it will let you close it so that the labor reimbursement will be processed.  You have to put in things like what you did, what you ordered, when the failure happened and when the work was completed.

Here's the kicker tho. If it doesnt like what you typed for whatever reason, YOU CANT GO BACK AND EDIT IT. A persistant popup saying "invalid data type" (or something along those lines) comes up, and when you close it to go back to the mistyped entry, it pops up AGAIN, prohibiting you from actually editing anything. The only way out is to kill IE from the task manager and start over. And the website is IE only. The default answer when you encounter a problem is "call CSN support".  However, I dont speak spanish at all well, and that is apparently the first language of everybody in the CSN support queue.   Their accents are all thick enough to cut with a knife. I know phone support jobs are cheap, but if they cant speak english clearly and  concisely, they shouldnt be tasked with providing support for english speaking users.

Late breaking news: Apparently all these errors are directly related to IE7, as the site works fine in IE6. The idiots should just come out and SAY SO, not pretend it works on both.

The idiots responsible for this abortion of code need to be fed feet first into a wood chipper as an example to others.

Guess I need to lower my voice

[mtupyro.livejournal.com]

PYRO: *hangs up phone* "I dislike $COWORKER1"
COWORKER2: "Why?"
PYRO: "He's a jerkoff"
COWORKER3: *bursts into laughter from across the room* "Well said sir"