...wow.

[darkrose.livejournal.com]

Dear "Network Admin for a Fortune 500 company",

192.1.x.x is not a private address range. Even if you want swear on your mother's grave that it is, that does not make it so. You do not have the power to make it a private address range by sheer will alone.

I'm sorry your IP addressing scheme doesn't work with our proxy server. We coded it to work on private address ranges, considering the whole purpose of having a proxy server is so you don't have to use a public IP address for your computers. But you knew that already, right?

I'm sure that the poor telecom company in Italy appreciates the fact that your workstations no longer uses any addresses in the netblock they own.

~Darkrose

--------------------------------

Dear Support Monkeys,

You should actually read the log file attached to the escalated ticket before sending it to me. Granted, it took me about 15 minutes to figure out the problem, but that's because I expect you have checked the most obvious things, like a moron who doesn't know basic networking rules. Perhaps you did check this but assumed the angels who trumpeted "Network Admin for Fortune 500 company!" made this guy infallible. I don't know.

Your problem now, not mine. :)

~Darkrose

Our L2 techs rock.

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

Seen in the L2 chat queue:

12/28/07 [9:07 PM] [L2-Name-Goes-Here]: The cake is a lie.

one freaking year old!

[polarbee.livejournal.com]

This worm appeared last New Years. Setting aside that, why are you opening attachments?! How many times do we have to jump up and down and scream and say not to?
Is it really that hard? I can't even remember the last time my computer had a virus. I seem to be able to avoid them without too much difficulty.
I want those hours of my life back that I had to spend fixing your computer.

Dear Seagate,

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

Please press a button that will destroy all Maxtor drives. They are such utter, utter pieces of crap.

Thank you,
Tiffany
(Who is having massive problems with a Maxtor Grizzly right now. And, according to Google, doesn't seem to be the only one.)

The Spread of Disease

[drquuxum.livejournal.com]

Dear Luserette,

When you go to a conference in India and you swap USB keys with 200 people, don't be surprised when it gets trojaned.  Oh, and while I'm at it, don't blame me for not protecting your laptop after you've disabled the anti-virus.

No love,
Quuxum

Remember how I said I liked L2?

[wxgeek.livejournal.com]

...I now hate L2.

Request: customer #[number]has so much e-mail in his inbox that he can't delete any of it. I suspect this is because it's trying to move the e-mail to the deleted items folder before it removes it from his inbox. help?
[5:31 PM] [L2]: are you able to delete?
[5:31 PM] [me]: not at all.
[5:31 PM] [me]: nothing.
[5:31 PM] [me]: he's using 102.7mb of his 100mb limit.
[5:31 PM] [me]: and it fails wiiiiiiiiiiiith.......
[5:31 PM] [L2]: awesome
[5:31 PM] [L2]: :-)

[5:31 PM] [me]: oh I know!!!
[5:32 PM] [me]: "There was an error deleting messages from the folder "sent-mail". This is what the server said: UID COPY failed: copy would exceed quota"
[5:32 PM] [L2]: you may have to contact [retarded_3rd_party_mail_service] to help you out
[5:32 PM] [me]: $10 says that 'delete' means 'copy to deleted items and remove from this folder' except it fails at doing that because .... yeah.
[5:32 PM] [me]: aieee.]
[5:32 PM] [L2]: you could try telnetting in and deleting the larger emails
[5:32 PM] [me]: [retarded_3rd_party_mail_service] is scary. :D
[5:32 PM] [L2]: [retarded_3rd_party_mail_service] is incompetent
[5:32 PM] [L2]: :-D
[5:32 PM] [me]: that too.
[5:32 PM] [me]: :)
[5:33 PM] [L2]: have fun storming the castle!
SESSION ENDED

===

managing e-mail via telnet is retarded.

I've been on hold waiting to speak with [retarded_3rd_party_email_service] for ... *looks at phone* 20+ minutes now.

how did this guy even exceed his quota??? shouldn't sendmail have just bounced his stuff??? (Extra ???s because of the Monster I just finished, as well as frustration.)