No, really, it's a hardware problem

[syberghost.livejournal.com]

I had to call Sun Microsystems today for a 420R with a serial port that's not accepting input, preventing us from fixing a server with a sick /var. It's clearly a hardware problem, we can see output from the serial port but can't give any input. Generally Sun has the best tech support in the world, especially if you have the lucky special magic corporate support number service, which we do.

me: The serial console doesn't accept any input. I can't break out of the boot, and I can't type the root password to proceed into single-user mode when it prompts me.

Sun guy 1: Try sending a stop-A to break out of the boot.

me: Right. Doesn't work, because it's not accepting any input.

Sun guy 1: Oh. Well try putting a CD in and do a boot cdrom -s.

me: Can't type boot cdrom -s, because it's not accepting any input.

Sun guy 1: Oh. Well try pulling the serial connector during the boot, that may force it into the ok prompt.

me: Unless the serial port isn't accepting input. But I'll go try that.

I call back:

me: Ok. Didn't work. It's still not accepting any input.

Sun guy 1: Oh. Hmm, I can't think of anything else to try.

me: I can; try sending me a field engineer to fix this broken serial port.

Sun guy 1: Let me get another engineer to look at this.

(hold music for 3 minutes)

Sun guy 2: So, I don't have the full history on this. Is the serial port not working at all?

me: No, it's sending output, but not accepting any input. I have tried sending a break during the boot several times, nothing. Tried pulling the serial connector, nothing.

Sun guy 2: And the dumb terminal you're using works on other machines?

me: yes.

Sun guy 2: Well it's clearly hardware then. We'll send a field engineer to look at it.

NOOOOOOOOO, really? Why didn't I think of that? Like, an HOUR ago.

what constitutes a "high priority"?

[momentarygenius.livejournal.com]

Preface: We define high priority as "A problem affecting one or more users that affects their primary job function and for which there is no work around".
Our normal priority turn around time is 12 business hours, so it's not like normal requests sit around for weeks at a time.

__________________________________________________________________
So this luser is trying to burn some files to a dvd and it's not working.
I ask him the normal troubleshooting stuff...
"Do you have a DVD Read and Write drive?" "yes"
"Are the discs really DVDs?" "yes"
"Are you able to burn normal CDs?" "yes"
"Do you have a different brand of DVDs you can try?" "yes, they don't work either"

ok. At this point I'm almost certain its a bad drive, bad software or luser error. So I remote in and watch him try.

he's using Roxio's Drag and Drop utility. Tried to bypass that and add files to copy directly, but every time he puts in a blank dvd roxio tries to format it and it fails. Made sure DLA is enabled, no effect.

I advised him I'd send a desktop tech up to his workstation and he says "This is urgent, its crucial I write to dvds today".

Really???? Show me the file that is larger than 700MB that you want to copy and I'll think about making it high priority.

What things do your callers think is high priority that really isn't?

F is for FAIL!!!

[ptstech.livejournal.com]

Dear Clueless Department Manager,

Yes, I know outgoing faxing from Outlook is not working.  In fact, it was I who told you that.

As I told you, the problem 1) is ongoing, 2) in work with the vendor, 3) has no fix available and no eta for determining one, and 4) has forced us to consider alternatives to our software package.

This means that despite your complaints, your users will have to continue to use the fax machine to actually send faxes out.

Yes, this will involve them getting out of their seats, and walking to the fax machine.  Also, they may be subjected to a bit of a queue.  However, from the looks of them, neither the walk nor the time spent on their feet is likely to be detrimental in any appreciable way.

By the way, you are so full of fail at defining "business-critical function" that you literally have fail leaking from every orifice on your body.  You are, in fact, a veritable fail sponge, filled to overflowing; an absolute cornucopia of fail, stuffed with a bounty of fail.

In other words, you fail.

Thanks,
ptstech

On Customers

[mynameisnotreal.livejournal.com]

I swear to Cthulhu, (for the SIXTH time) what part of "I will call you when it is done" don't you understand!!??

(no subject)

[sami-rdwd.livejournal.com]

Listen Mr. Entitlement Parent. I don't give two fuzzy rats asses if your son plays basketball at this university. This isn't high school. Not everyone who works for the school just bends into pretzels over athletes. I'm a graduating senior who doesn't give a damn about sports and I don't give a flying flip if your son is "supposed to get some play-time tonight at the game". I told two ways you could try to listen for his basketball game online through our school website. I was very polite with you. I didn't have to go through the trouble I did to actually find the answers. You're in another state. I don't care. Not my fault. Get over it.