No. We don't support that.

[russianswinga.livejournal.com]

Dear Professor *****, Esq, Ph.D, J.D, Published in Science, Nature, and responsible for millions of dollars worth of grants for the university...

(No, I don't like the way that sounds)

Dear $Luser...

(ahh! much better)

I will try not to cringe with disgust when you call in for support with your e-mail and in a very excited, nay, overjoyed voice, proclaim that yesterday you dropped $650 on an iPhone and it's the greatest piece of technology ever invented, and now you'd like to set it up with university e-mail. I will try and not smile with joy when I tell you we don't support mobile devices. We never have, and in the forseeable future, we never will. I will try and not take pleasure hearing your heart skip a beat when you receive this news.

I WILL provide you with the proper IMAP settings that you'll need to connect any e-mail client, including your mobile device, to our network. I won't tell you exactly what fields they are on your iPhone, because, oh yeah, IT'S NOT SUPPORTED.... No, I don't care how much money you spent on it....

I also will not help you if AT&T decides to be a bitch and block SSL encryption over port 587 for SMTP. I will tell you to call them and use their server. Yes, that will work. No, I won't call them for you. ... And for the last time, I really don't care how happy you are with your phone...

... No, we do not intend to make any "portal" that will "automatically" set up your iPhone with university e-mail in the future. iPhone is not the only mobile device out there and if we support one, we'll have to support them all. NO, FOR THE LAST TIME I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS HOW MUCH MONEY YOU SPENT ON IT.

... I don't understand why it matters, but yes, I've used a mac. I'm actually using one right now. Yes, I find its operating system very handy and organized. NO, I WILL NOT GO BUY A FUCKING IPHONE BECAUSE I LIKE MY MAC, AND I WILL NOT HELP YOU SET YOURS UP. Now if you'll excuse me, I have clients with supported software problems waiting on the line. I will now end this call so I can address these clients and so you can go back to sucking Steve Jobs' cock... er... publishing articles in Science or Nature or whatever the fuck it is you do.

I will leave you with this:



Sincerely yours,

RussianSwinga

(no subject)

[lildevilette.livejournal.com]

This morning Outlook Exchange server went down at work, affecting 99% of our users...

Our techs spend 2 hours investigating what could be the problem...

Then a tech finds an email sitting on the server; a luser last night tried to send a 1.12Gig email though. WTF!?! *face palm*