So joyous!

[nebbors.livejournal.com]

This morning, our entire company wide monitoring system is down. I am unix tech and it is a windows app, so who do they somehow come to? me.
I have no idea where any of this is, what it does, or how it does it, and yet I am the guy they keep talking to.
We finally have the people who need to be looking at it, doing what needs to be done, but I am just thrilled that they think I can magically fix the issue.

(A while ago internal stuff, even windows, was assigned to our department, but that is not even true any more.)

(oh and I love having windows people standing behind me telling me what to do... why aren't THEY doing it?)

*sigh* *head desk*

ummm... you're invoicing US?!

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

Here's an email we got verbatim, as always... this guy has some godzilla-sized balls and he's sorely mistaken!

Whenever Internet Explorer is opened on my machine your software appears. The fee for this is $100 per incident. I have not requested your software be downloaded nor do I seem able to remove it. If you continue to allow this to occur you agree to pay $100 for each time any page or other partion of your software appears on my machine. You will be invoiced weekly for each occurance. If you choose to remove your software from my machine it must be at your expense. I am available at my schedule to remove it for a fee of $100 per hour.

this day just keeps getting better and better

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

Here's another amusing one... TMI, dude... really. Oh, and I found his myspace page...  I couldn't help myself!

You're Firewall since mid June has been blocking my access to yahoo password protected sites (email groups my account etc) as well as myspace and www.hangoutnude.com. i tried to add them to ok list and it's still doing it. I don't know what's going on.

computer woes

[rknow.livejournal.com]

Hey guys.. i am having this problem.. everytime i boot up it is showing me that i have only 256mb of RAM.. i should have 768.. When i go into the bios it is showing 768 and also when i go into properties after right clicking my computer it is showing me that i have 768... I have done evrything from take out the DIMM cards and put them in one at a time to taking out the battery and its still doing the same thing.. please help??

(no subject)

[moopet.livejournal.com]

So this guy comes in complaining that his laptop keeps printing everything in capitals. I suspect a dodgy keyboard or a loose keyboard ribbon connector, which seems to be common in some of the cheaper craptops. I fire it up, open notepad, slide across qwertyuiop, hit return, turn on capslock and run QWERTYUIOP. Repeat, try with shift keys. Seems fine. I ask him to show me the problem if he can and am speechless when I see him type. He's holding down the capslock key while typing.
me: why are you holding down the capslock key?
him: I'm typing my name. I always have my name in capitals.
me: uh. Ok, but why are you holding it down? It's a toggle - like shiftlock on an old typewriter?
him: I always type my name in capitals. It's just after that everything stays in capitals unless I type my name again, then I can't get any capitals at all!
me: excuse me, this problem seems a little out of my area of expertise. Let me go consult with some of my co-wokers in the back room.
him: ok.