Head, meet Desk. Desk, Head.

[liber-cogito.livejournal.com]

So, support for a certain ISP/Content Provider that's renown for its stupid (l)users. We usually have pretty stupid techs, as well. (I will neither confirm nor deny any guesses.)

There must be something in the air though, or maybe the water supply because this week was worst than most. For some reason multiple have either commented on some unexistant accent, or thought I was from either India or the Philippines. I swear, they expect an accent so even when they don't get one, they somehow hear it. (My 'accent' is vaguely north eastern.)

Some Gems:
( Read more... )

More pr0n

[blossomingfire.livejournal.com]

Sorry about missing porn day, I was out of town.

Anyway, we had a lab manager who was pretty much a looney..   One day she announced she was marrying one of the students (that everyone was pretty much convinced was gay.)  We gave her a quickie shower, she had said quickie marriage, and a divorce was filed within 24 hours of the wedding.   (Reason:  he was gay!)  Then one of the students she had working in the lab was this really skeevy guy she gave the key to the lab to so he could open and close.  Only he was coming in at 1am getting on IRC having hot and heavy chat sessions.  So I was directed to set up logging, and pass the transcripts on to the dean.  They were pretty repulsive-apparently he considered himself to be Mr. Hot and Sexy, neither of which he was by any stretch of the imagination.

The order came down to fire him, of course.   Then said guy had some serious balls (or delusions) and from what I understand threatened a lawsuit for wrongful termination (because manager had given him permission to do this.)  I'm not sure whatever happened to the case, but I do know the lab manager suddenly found another job on campus.   We then found out she spent 3/4 of the lab's budget within 4 months of the start of the fiscal year.    Almost 8 years later we're still finding things she screwed up.

I had a grad assistant from India.  I don't think this guy bathed, because he consistently smelled like a shat onion.  Fortunately though, I busted the guy in the lab looking at pr0n, so I was given a blessed reason to fire him, and then he wanted to argue with me about why he shouldn't be fired for that.  Thankfully, most of his rant was unintelligible, so I was able to stand my ground, and reclaim my clean smelling work area.

Working on campus, yeah, that's a whole other ballpark of batshit there.

Sort of on today's topic...

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

Tech support at a college, with the usual student filters. Complaints from a science class - they can't look up all the elements on the web.

Arsenic, and its glorious poison properties? Not a problem.

Plutonium, and how to build a nuclear bomb? No hassles.

Bismuth, ingredient in anti-tummy-upset medicines, useful in x-ray scans and otherwise quite safe?

This site has been blocked due to inappropriate content (Pornography). Your attempt at access has been logged. Please refer to the SchoolSite IT policies.

( And have a good guess at why it was blocked before you click here )

A day late, but here's my pathetic one...

[canray.livejournal.com]

Sorry to miss Pr0nzorz day, but it took awhile to remember my one, small dealing with Pr0n. It wasn't really Tech Support, but, what the hey.

It was back when I was dealing with a New York Cable Company, doing Billing, Tech Support, and Sales (Yes, I hated that job!).

A Woman called in complaining about some minor issues with her service (Cable Box just needed a Hard Boot. Easy enough.), but, "Since I was on the line with her." she also wanted to complain about the two Pay Per View Porn Movies.

Went through the bill, and found it was an "Order By Remote" deal, which is fairly reliable (Billing Wise. The service is garbage!).

"OK, the only way this could have been ordered is through the Remote, that means someone there ordered it."

"BULLSH*T! There's only me and my Fifteen year-old son here! And he wouldn't be interested in that filth!"

"Ma'am, do you remember being Fifteen?"

"Of course I do!"

"Apparently not. Because, if you did, you'd also remember the Fifteen year-old boys that were around at the time as well."

My Supervisor was sitting behind me and did a Spit-take. And tried to chew me out for that after the call, but was too busy laughing.