"Oh noes! My computer won't work!"

[guitarguy1980.livejournal.com]

So, today, I get out of my monthly staff meeting, and I find that I have three emails, (apparently from another person's computer) a voice message on my work phone, and a message on my company cell phone from this woman, who we'll call Linda, complaining that her computer won't turn on.

She left the same message with everyone else on my Information Systems Team.  I was the first to respond.  Low and behold the machine won't turn on.  This woman is panicking, like you have no idea.  

In a very demanding tone, she yells, and when I say yells, I means SCREAMS at me: "I was in the middle of something when it just died! I need this back up now!"

So, keeping my cool, I press the power button.  Nothing. 

Ok, so let's check the cable. 

Low and behold, the damn thing was unplugged, and the battery died.

Plugged it in, and heard the thinkpad beep recognizing power flowing to the system.  I got up, hit the power button, and BAM!  The machine turned on.

The only thing she could say was:  "Ugh.....thanks." in that snooty condescending tone.

I need a drink.

We are not the police ..

[lihan161051.livejournal.com]

Please don't tell me the name and IP address of the guy down the street you're sure is hacking into your computer.

No, you don't need to read me all the warning messages in your firewall log, the first half dozen are more than enough.

I'm terribly sorry the local police aren't listening to you.

Yes, I'm sure it's terribly frustrating.

Ma'am, please take your meds ..