Not amused.

[ethereal-dusk.livejournal.com]

--"Thanks for calling, thrill me."

Cust: "I don't have any awio."

--"I'm sorry, you don't have any what?"

Cust: "Awio. I put a training DVD in and I don't have any awio."

--"Oh, you do not have any sound?"

Cust:"I just said I don't have any awio."

--"You don't have any audio.

Cust:"That's what I just said, awio."

Okay, it's one thing that he talked like Elmer Fudd, mumbling with marbles in his mouth. It was another thing that that he wasn't listening to a thing I asked him to do. It was yet another thing that he and his friends were cussing all in the background and in my ears. For 20 minutes I listened to this while I was remoted into his computer twying to fwix his awio. I finally stopped talking to him because I was engrossed in my work. After 30 seconds of silence he came with my biggest pet peeve:

Cust:"Hello? Hello? Are you still there?"

--"YES. I'm still here."

Cust:"What are you doing?"

--(through clenched teeth) "I'm fixing your computer."

(a few more moments of silence pass)

Cust:"Hello?"

--"WHAT??"

Cust:"Just making sure you were still there."

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Cust:"Hello? You still there?"

That is when I accidentally hit the release button on the phone. Oops. I can still fix his computer without having to talk to him. Thank $Deity.

Then I got the next phone call. I'll make this short. This lady calls because her password isn't working. The whole world has ended for her! I mean this. She was all kinds of bent out of shape over a password that I could fix in 30 seconds. But I didn't get a word in edge-wise for 5 minutes because she couldn't stop her lips from flapping. And she was being so dramatic about it... it was making me sick. I finally said really loudly "M'am, did you call me for help?" "yes." "Then can you please stop talking?"

And these people work for our government. 'Nuff said.

Now I have heard it all...

[attackgypsy.livejournal.com]

Sub calls in, and he's not getting online. I asked him to look at the modem, and tell me what lights are on.

He says "Power, Recieve and Standby"

I asked him to push the button, and, like magic, his modem comes back up. I go on to explain that somehow the standby must have been pushed, probably by accident, when someone was cleaning, and I give the little story how my cat did it to me.

"No, my Roomba did it"

"Roomba?"

"My robotic vacuum must have hit it, its laying sideways on the floor, and it must have hit it."

Now I'm glad I have the next two days off. Pass the Vodka and Aleve please?