Brilliant!

[bamatone.livejournal.com]

Allow me to share with you one of the "overheard in the office" quotes from today...

Caller: I just arrived at my lake house for the summer, and the satellite TV isn't working! Why is it off?!
CSR: Sir, please stay calm. It's simple: we just need to reset your receiver since you've been away for a while.
Caller: How long will that take?
CSR: It's easy, sir. Do you have a potato handy?
Caller: Um, let me see... [Pause] Yes, we just picked some up at the store on our way in -- stocking up.
CSR: Great, sir. An apple would also work. Now, what I need you to do is to cut that potato in half. Then I need you place one half of the potato face-down on top of your receiver. Please make sure it's dry.
Caller: What?
CSR: Trust me, sir, I'm a professional. We'll have your service back on in no time.
Caller: Okay... [Long pause] Alright, done. Now what?
CSR: Great, sir. The potato will act upon your receiver's magnetic field and will bring the service back online momentarily. It's a built-in security feature so that no one can use your dish while you're away for most of the year.

CSR presses service reset button, remote satellite transmits 'wake up' signal to inactive receiver, TV comes on.

Caller: That's amazing! Who'd have thought... a potato! Will this work every time?
CSR: Just give us a call if you have any problems in the future, and thank you for using this service.

Bradford Drive
Huntsville, Alabama

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/003467.html

http://syndicated.livejournal.com/overheardoffice/873226.html

two quickies

[goose-entity.livejournal.com]

Me: *in elevator*
StupidStudent: *gets in elevator and presses button for 4th floor*
me: are you going to the computer lab? (which is on the 4th floor)
StupidStudent: yes
me: you know it's closed tomorrow and Friday?
StupidStudent: oh! Is it open today?
me: ....


User logs the following issue:

"Transcripts just came out. I am trying to do mail merge letters....but
everytime I put in a student number I am getting "student number not
found"."

.. any chance of a hint as to what the flarping flip system you are talking about? After all there are only, ooh, about TWO THOUSAND things you could be referring to!

There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home...

overheard in the office today

[irishmasms.livejournal.com]

Two coworkers are discussing Star Trek, and the security functions of the computer on board the USS Enterprise when one of our engineers walks by....

Engineer: You guys are complete nerds, you know that? Talking Star Trek like a couple geeks in your moms basement. This is REAL LIFE, not star trek.

coworker: I know it's real life, and not Star Trek. In Star Trek, engineers know how to fix shit and did so.

Much laughter....
Much more in the break room as the story was retold...


x-posted to tech_moment and techsupport

Something to keep you amused.

[reynardo.livejournal.com]

Email received in our tech support help box today:

Feedback Details:
My computer is being constantly atacked by the same external hacker. I run Zone Alarm and warnings appear 36 times daily. My technician has told me that a trace of the address comes to no one. Can you please trace who ever this is, and advise me if it is dangerous? The address is 169.254.2.2

I'll try very hard to be polite when answering...