It's a trick. Get an axe.

[seattleotaku.livejournal.com]

Me: Hello, this is [$COMPANY].
Deadite: Is this [$DIFFERENT_COMPANY]?


Deadite: I can't access your server, it says the connection's refused.
Me (checking): It's up here, and others are getting to it.
Deadite: No it's not. Your server is down.
Me: What says it's refused?
Deadite: My firewall.


Deadite (emailed): I'm not receiving incoming email. It bounces saying, "Disk quota exceeded". Please reply.


Deadite: Hi, can I speak with [$OWNER_SLOWLY_MISPRONOUNCED]?
Me: He's not available at this number. Is there something I can help you with?
Deadite: I'll call back. (disconnects)


Me: I want to return this day; it's defective.
Universe: Sorry, no exchanges or refunds.

blackberry

[255-255-255-0.livejournal.com]

A user, (management type) asks me why he can't get his work email on one of the five new blackberries he just bought without checking with anyone.

me: ermmm maybe because you need a server to make it work, that we don't have because no one here has a blackberry?

I'm sorry, what?!

[ebtb.livejournal.com]

This is the BEST thing I have overheard all week... my co-worker assumes a cute twang when she gets some screaming moron on the phone and this is what she said:

"Sir, did you say that your lawyer says you can sue us because your computer has been running for seven hours?... no, our CEO doesn't answer the phones..."